Thank you everyone for wonderful advice and love. This site makes me smile and cry at the same time. Smile because u guys are so wonderful and ready to help. The humanity in all of you is amazing. All of you should be proud of being so wonderful. It makes me cry because I know the pain I am growing through and to imagine another humans feeling the same, breaks my heart.
Tera,
I have no answers for you there. I have experienced one big death in my life but that was when I was a teenager. I think when someone is dead…u know that there is nothing u can do or say that can bring them back. The hope of having them dies with them. Though painful, it is not comparable to the pain when someone breaks your heart or gives up on u. That becomes a mixture of resentment, pain of loss, hope of ever being happy again and broken trust. I never will wish bad upon anyone let alone on someone I love but the fact that he is still there…living and loving someone else …kills my heart.