I,too feel like I have been hit hard and am trying to just sit with the emotions that seem to be swirling around. I lost both my mom and dad in the last 18 months and after each death my husband of 27 years asked for a separation. I weathered the first death and separation, partly because my husband never actually left ( he was sleeping separately, but otherwise involved in our “life” together) and seemed to want to move forward in the last six months. Now with my father’s death he has once again asked for a separation and I believe he will now move out, since he feels living with me is part of the problem. He is reluctant to tell anyone and everything is moving at a snail’s pace, including telling our “twenty-something” children! He has a really hard time communicating how he feels and when he tries to explain, he says that I require too much care taking ( much of what he does to “take care” is unsolicited). This is such a painful time for me… I absolutely hate losing the “family” we created with good results except for the unhappiness between us now. He has his own therapist but isn’t interested in doing any couples work… I understand that I have to let go. Why is it so painful? Is sitting with it and moving slowly to remake my life going to work. I am so old to have to rebuild my life!