You know, guys- every time I see one of these cries for help I peruse the responses and, almost without fail, every reply acknowledges the blogger’s problem then goes on to talk about the respondents situation, their similar problem, their woes and their issues. I have a friend, an extremely eligible and attractive single lady, who turns every conversation and every situation around to her failed relationships and how the other parties let her down. It’s all about me, me, me and it’s the same here. Let go! My advice in all these situations is ” ” lump it or leave it. No one can change others to fit the mould they want them to be but taking that stark choice takes courage. If you choose “lump it”- then don’t lump it and suffer. Review your needs and wants and accept the other person completely not begrudgingly, criticising at every opportunity their past or present failings. If it’s the ‘leave it’ option then recognise there will be a grieving process to go through. It’s a well documented series of steps through denial, and anger before finally reaching acceptance. This person has been unfaithful and disloyal. Well he /she is only human and we all have our failings. If love is still there work on that but the lump it or leave it option is still the same. And their failings should not be transferred on to you. It was their failings not yours and there is no need to loose esteem or self worth. Oh well- what do I know. I wish you every success and happiness.