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Posts tagged with “repair”

Dear Parent of an Estranged Adult: What Might Repair Your Relationship

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Dear estranged parent,

I know it’s not easy to feel cut off from your child when you still feel love and maybe even remorse. I know you might feel confused about why your adult child is so upset, and you might even feel angry and wrongly accused.
Perhaps there’s some truth to that. I don’t know why your child cut ties with you, but I can share a little of my own experience and then offer some tips that might help, regardless of your unique situation.

So why did your son or daughter cut you out of their life?

I …

You’re Bent, Not Broken: A Mindset Shift That Can Change Your Life

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“Bent but never broken; down but never out.” ~Annetta Ribken

I lived for a long time thinking I was broken beyond repair.

Let me rephrase: I thought I was unloved, unworthy, scarred, and broken. What a package, right?

It started young, never feeling like I was good enough for anything I did. Being the youngest of the typical modern recomposed family in the eighties, I never knew on which foot to dance and always thought I needed to bend left and right to be seen and loved.

I carried this baggage under my badge of anxiety, feeling like …

Before You Reach Out to That Person from Your Past: 3 Things to Consider

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“You don’t have to rebuild a relationship with everyone you’ve forgiven.” ~Unknown

It’s natural, when you’re hurting and lonely, to want to reach out to people you’ve been close to in the past.

Especially if there’s unfinished business with someone. And especially given the added isolation that comes with a global pandemic.

Whether or not you do reach out is entirely your prerogative. For what it’s worth, I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad idea to try—in most cases, a “Whoops” is better than a “What if…?” Whatever the result, you’ll learn something. It might be …

Do You Accept Your Partner’s Attempts to Repair?

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“I am not fully healed, I am not fully wise, I am still on my way. What matters is that I am moving forward.” ~Yung Pueblo

According to Dr. John Gottman, PhD, successful repair attempts are a “happy couple’s secret weapon.”

An attempt to repair is when our partner makes a mistake and then makes an attempt to fix it in their own way.

Their attempt may look very different than what we may want, and we may be tempted to react negatively, but we have a choice to catch ourselves and consciously choose a different response.

That’s part of …