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Posts by Jen Hinkkala

Jen Hinkkala is PhD student, researcher, and teacher of arts education in Canada. She strives to understand what factors and experiences lead to higher levels of wellness, resiliency, and self-care among arts educators and students. Jen is also a life coach and specializes in self-care, well-being, time management, performance anxiety, estrangement, overcoming abuse, career paths, and anxiety. Jen runs a support group for estranged adults and a group to support personal development. Follow her on Twitter here.

The Grief We Can’t Run from and Why We Should Embrace It

“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” ~J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

Grief creeps up on you when you least expect it. It reminds you of the person you have …

If You’ve Been Abused and You’ve Lost Your Joy and Sense of Self

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can choose not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou

I know what you’re feeling because I’ve been there. You’re sitting quietly with your pain asking yourself …

To All the Abused Kids Who Are Dealing with the Consequences as Adults…

“The feeling of being rejected, disapproved of, or conditionally loved by one’s primary caregivers is a monumental, long-lasting burden for a child to carry. It produces chronic shame, guilt, and anxiety. The child is blamed for doing something wrong and

The Day I Found Out from the Internet my Estranged Father Had Died

“The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal.” ~Astrid Alauda

On a lazy Sunday morning as I lounged in bed, I picked up my phone, scrolled through my news feed on Facebook, and decided to Google my …

Dear Estranged Adult: You Are Strong and Worthy of Love

Dear estranged adult,

What I want you to remember is that it was never really about you, although it might have felt like it at the time and it might feel that way now.

When your parents told you over …

Disconnected and Strong in the Face of COVID-19

EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“Distance sometimes lets you know who is worth keeping, and who is worth letting go.”
~
Lana Del Rey

As COVID-19 …

Love Yourself, on Valentine’s Day and Always

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” Brené Brown 

Growing up I watched my grandparents’ relationship with longing. They anticipated each other’s needs, they did small loving gestures for each …

What My Parents Did to Me and Why I Cut Them Out of My Life

I wrote this letter to my extended family years after I chose to become estranged from my parents because many of them cut me out of their lives instead of reaching out to hear my side of the story.

It …