Dear Jana:

Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal and moving post. Your journey through healing and self-discovery is inspiring

I see the journal burning representing letting go of the past or a desire to start fresh, and your hesitation to post in Peter’s thread out of respect for its positive mood shows consideration for the community’s atmosphere.

“My mind felt no fear anymore… but my body still remembered… It took more years and more work to heal my body, as well… it is too easy and simple to say ‘You are what you think.’ We are much more complex than we think”-
– You worked on overcoming your social phobia using EFT, but even after your mind no longer felt fear, your body still remembered and reacted by shaking. This highlights the concept that the mind and body can operate on different timelines when it comes to healing. Our bodies can hold onto trauma or stress even when our minds have processed and dealt with it.

Traumatic memories aren’t just stored in the brain, but also in the body’s tissues, muscles, and organs. The body’s memory is called Somatic Memory. When a person experiences trauma, their body goes into a heightened state of arousal, triggering the fight-or-flight response. During this state, the brain releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, and the body reacts with increased heart rate, muscle tension, and heightened alertness. These physical responses can become encoded in the body’s muscle memory.

Somatic memories can manifest in various ways, including chronic pain, muscle tension, shaking, sweating, racing heart and other physical discomfort when confronted with triggers related to the trauma. Somatic memories can be triggered by sensory experiences such as smells, sounds, or sights that remind the individual of the original traumatic event or events. These triggers can evoke physical reactions as if the trauma is happening again.

Understanding somatic memory emphasizes the importance of treating trauma holistically, recognizing that our bodies can hold onto experiences in ways that our minds may have already processed.

Songs like This Used to Be My Playground can be powerful triggers for memories and emotions. Your honesty about contemplating suicide and finding a tiny light of hope speaks to your resilience and strength.

Your disapproval of the post that despised someone who committed suicide emphasizes the importance of empathy and understanding. Words can deeply impact others, and your reminder to be kind is a call for compassion.

Your post is a touching blend of personal struggle and growth. It’s a reminder that life’s journey is complex, and healing takes time. Keep shining that tiny light of hope, Jana— you never know how it might guide others who are struggling.

anita

Dear Jana:

It’s truly inspiring to see how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown. Your story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit.

What you shared earlier, holding onto that tiny light of hope amidst despair is incredibly powerful. It reminds us that even in our darkest moments, there can be a glimmer of hope that keeps us moving forward.

Viewing your past self as a “bridge” to who you are becoming shows profound self-awareness. Embracing change and impermanence allows us to grow and evolve continuously. Recognizing that we are always changing is comforting because it means that our struggles and challenges are not solid/ permanent, but part of an ongoing process of growth and transformation.

As to your questions for me: yes, I still work outdoors. Only yesterday I was pruning dozens of pear trees for almost 2 hours. At one point I felt that my big toe was freezing and got scared. Thankfully, this Thurs morning, in the heated house, my toes are alive again. It’s been very difficult for me to keep my fingers and toes warm this winter. Often, outdoors, they are icy cold and losing sensation.

In my free time, other than freezing fingers and toes, I answer posts on tiny buddha every single morning (it promotes my personal growth and transformation). In the later afternoon/early evening I socialize with people in one of two meeting places downtown.

Thank you again for sharing your journey. It’s a privilege to read your story and witness your growth. Wishing you continued strength and peace as you navigate your path.

anita