October 7, 2013 at 5:25 am #43352TrixieParticipant
Hello a everyone
I would like to know if it is the correct thing to send a 1st year remembrance card to a colleague ? We have been work friends & sort of social friends and it is the anniversary of her sisters passing. I feel it would be a nice thing to do (as I would like to receive a card) . I have some words in mind to write but not sure of the correct thing to do. I have written some notes about what we were doing the day the terrible news was received etc and how I can’t understand then or now the feelings of losing a sibling etc and how I’m there for her. Is this so much or do you just post a note like ” always in my thoughts here for you ” ??? totally unsure if I should recap on the event and how it has impacted on her life and others or just hey I’m here and I remember ????
Please advise what direction to take and any words I could use. please.
I have been blessed and have never lost a beloved family member (yet) so all new to me to lose someone in an accident and someone in their 20s is hard to understand
TrixieOctober 7, 2013 at 5:58 am #43354JohnParticipant
That’s a really nice thought. I think it’s wonderful that you’re thinking of your friend and want to be supportive and show her that you care.
I don’t know if there’s a hard and fast rule about sending remembrance cards and so I think this is both a personal and cultural preference.
In North America, I don’t believe it’s a custom to send remembrance cards so I wouldn’t do it myself. In some European countries, I understand that the first year marks the end of mourning for a close loved one so I don’t know where a remembrance card would fall into that tradition.
The best advice I could give you is to just ask her about how she’s planning to to commemorate the anniversary. Some people visit the grave of their loved ones on special occasions (anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, etc) so perhaps you could offer to join her. For some people, past the funeral, any mourning is done privately or with only immediate close family who knew the deceased.
If you don’t know her that well and as you say, you’re “sort of social friends”, this would be a good opportunity to talk and get to know her personal preferences.
“Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” is a beautiful rule, but I would also invite you to consider “Do unto others as they would do unto themselves.”