November 6, 2013 at 12:01 am #44899dream2Participant
My husbands business was up and down and we were becoming more in debt so we sold our beautiful home for not as much as we could have in a panic. We moved our 2 kids into an apartment (that was hard enough) then 2 months later-
We bought another home in a panic thinking that it was the right home because our budget was less than before but this home is not working for our family. We feel very stuck. I can’t sleep and I am in state of anxiety all day. i am just slowing killing myself with total panic and anxiety.
I have to be strong for my kids but it is hard when you are so sad about making these stupid mistakes all out of panic and not out of logical thinking.
Any word of advice from anyone.
How do I let go of making a mistake and come to grips with the present so I can move forward.November 6, 2013 at 7:51 am #44901JamieParticipant
I am so sorry that you’re experiencing this. While my situation is not exactly the same, I am going through something that has me feeling anxious and sleepless as well. I found Ester Finks blog post today very inspirational. But in my day to to day, I end up trying to realize my mother’s manta (despite how many times I rejected it as a teenager!). “Don’t force anything” — has helped me to remember that today, all I can do, is handle today. And once I’ve handled today — with all the looming bills, dread, fear, anxiety, relationship issues, and duties with family/house/work etc. — I can remember that I am capable, hard-working, and doing all that I can. When I have nothing else to offer to the world in a day, I go to bed.
I am trying not to force anything — because my problems aren’t going away, and things won’t change any faster — so the best I can do today is to handle what it is I can for this one day, and little by little chip away at the paperwork, chip away at the bills, research things to inform my next decisions, clean the dishes, and get myself motivated to do a little bit more tomorrow.November 6, 2013 at 5:39 pm #44937that-girl-next-doorParticipant
I like what you had to say, Jamie. It made me smile. I hope it is useful for you to, DM Clemons.November 6, 2013 at 11:34 pm #44943dream2Participant
Yes it was very useful
thanksNovember 7, 2013 at 11:07 pm #44996Lana MillsParticipant
I feel for both of you, DM Clemons and Jamie. I have also had the worst year of my life. I recently became divorced because, to make a long story short, my ex-husband’s family made my life a living hell for several years. They always mentioned how I wasn’t right for him, that he should have married a girl from his country, spread rumors about me, tried to take my money, tried to control all my life decisions, and treated me horribly. It got to the point where he always chose his family over me and never defended me, and I finally placed myself first after trying to be good to him for many years. I told him that I wanted a divorce and no longer wanted anything to do with him and his family. Although I feel an incredible sense of relief and freedom now that the horror of it all is ebbing, during the worst of it I was suicidal. I kept thinking that no one would ever love me, that if my ex didn’t value me that no one will, and experienced what I’m sure many other divorced women feel: a terrible sense of stigma for feeling like “damaged goods”. I realized after all of this that I had been putting myself last for many years and everything I was doing was to please others and not myself, and that I had neglected to love and take care of myself. I know this is a different struggle from your financial straits, but I wanted to let you know that my life is finally turning around and I am feeling reinvigorated and happy, as I’m sure you will soon. Just hold on and you will see.November 8, 2013 at 4:13 am #45006Sally bParticipant
I feel for you all… Lana i understand how hard it must be for you as i am having the same issue with my husband’s family, 2013 is the worst year of my life. My sister in law insulted my dad so i confronted her which resulted in a big argument with my in laws. My husband has a joint family and now evryone hates me … A few of his cousins are bullying me on facebook and whats app. I was also battling postnatal depression, i try to think positive thought this phase would go but then i lost my job and now we have financial problems. Life is getting tougher day by day. I hope we can be happy again.November 9, 2013 at 1:56 am #45045NirvanaParticipant
Hi there…in response to your question,
“How do I let go of making a mistake and come to grips with the present so I can move forward.”
If the only think you can say all day every day is THANK YOU…. let it be that…
Gratitude comes a long way and when it comes down to our last days its relationships that matter most, not money…so focus on what you have daily esp your relsionships and watch all that doesnt matter disappear, ie your problems…