38 year old female feels time is running out

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    First of all, i am renaming this site, “call of the void”, its like a blackhole of happiness, calmness and peace surrounded by a galaxy of chaos, morbidity and viciousness, it feels good coming here, though still, i really have NO idea why 😛

    my dearest lulu, in your first posts, you specifically replied that you didn’t want to be part of a group, ie family or community, then (atleast as to what it look like to me) you did a 180 and went from ‘having a child’ to having one with a SO…….something that i can only take as you wanting a family…..just so we’re clear, a family IS a group woman -_- but you know, i might have misread stuff, sorry.
    You do not want to get labeled? you’ve come asking help/guidance/ideas/ etc…from an online forum, whose users are most probably in the psedo-psychology area of life, its easier to generalize than be specific when there is limited knowledge, on which i repeat. TALK TO A THERAPIST. one session, JUST talk, accept no meds and tell them that before the start of the session.
    no one is telling you not to go for a family, or a child, or buying a giraffe. they’re all valid option for you and your life. but as just about everyone is saying, it SEEMS like you might be wanting a child/family/group/love/security for other reasons. A mid-life crisis does definitely come into this, but i dare not get into that, again talk to a professional.
    but then again we all are probably wrong, so get a professional opinion. incidentally you are not the first person around your age that i’ve seen go into loneliness bit by bit. starts small and then people start acting out. please have a look at : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midlife_crisis

    also, i feel like an absolute asshole pointing this out, but ermmm…simply because we may be mis-labeling you, it has caused you to show some irritability, which in itself (if i remember correctly) is the lowest form of anger one can exhibit, anger is usually reserved for something that affects you. in my limited understanding, anger at strangers’ discussions about your life seems to show you care what they think and what they feel about you. ie: you maybe trying to value yourself from another persons perspective…..contact a professional before the real meaning of what iv said actually infiltrates into your thoughts. 🙂


    Hi Lulu,

    I may understand everything you’ve said. (I’m 36, female, and single.) I think wanting a relationship and children is very normal, and it’s also very normal for women in particular to think about these things more as we approach 40. Men generally can have children much later in life than we can, and so I think there is less concern about running out of time.

    I just wanted to say that I feel for you and empathize with you. It’s difficult enough to find the right person, and a ticking body clock doesn’t help. I’m not sure if I want kids myself, but I have left the door open, and I feel it starting to close because of time.

    Regarding this “void” that others seem to want to throw you into: I don’t think wanting a relationship automatically means a person has some kind of bad spiritual deficit they need to fix. I think it can mean that a happy, successful, fulfilled person wants to share her life with the same type of person. I wonder if some of these advice-givers are confusing needing someone with wanting to share with someone, and are also assuming you’re in the former camp.

    Anyway, it sucks, I know! You’re so not alone.

    I don’t know if this will help, but, I think many right people are out there for each person. It’s just a matter of finding those people. Somehow, that’s comforting to me.

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