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8 years in marriage ..

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  • #355394
    max85
    Participant

    Hi – i found some great articles and advice in this group. I want to tell about my relationship and life. need your thoughts ..

    this is 8th year into marriage with 2 kids. we are indian couple married in year 2012. ours is marriage decided by parents and i realized the girl parents have cheated us. girl is 2 years elder to me . we had issues from day 1 of marriage on how their parents behaved and obviously i lost the trust when i realized they told the age of the girl wrong.

    we lived with parents at my home and its been constant struggle on every small thing. i want to cut it short and tell you , faced so many issues but i want to continue the relation and decided to move on forgetting everything thats done and said. there was even a situation where they took me to police station with a wrong complaint on me that my parents are asking for money and harrasing her (even when we are living seperate.) i decided to move away from india and now in usa living away from everyone.

    Now , we have 2 kids with me doing a good job and settled in life. and we have home in usa. my situation now is i am very unhappy in life. i am feeling i would have ended this long back when i knew she is not right for me.

     

    after doing everything to keep this relation – working hard for family. she says i am useless and dont trust me in life or with kids. i am continuing this relation for kids but in recent times the arguments we are having i understood no matter what i do, i wont be credited for that and infact she is making me less infront of kids.  i have a lot to tell but –

    now i am in a state where i am feeling atleast for kids i should leave this relation and have some legal advice on how i can take care of kids and grow them properly. i need your advice and guidance.

    thank you.

    #355752
    anita
    Participant

    Dear max85:

    I just discovered your thread, otherwise I would have replied to you earlier. You are married with two children. The marriage was arranged and took place eight years ago. Your wife’s parents lied to your parents and you regarding their daughter’s age, claiming she was younger than she was. I am not clear about a few things:

    1. “we lived with parents at my home”- her parents or your parents?

    2. “they took me to police station with a wrong complaint on me that my parents are asking for money and harassing her (even when we are living separate)”- who took you to a police station, her parents or your wife? The complaint was that your parents were harassing your wife or her mother (“harassing her”)? Who was living separate from whom, your parents from her parents (we are living separate”)?

    3. “I decided to move away from India and now in usa living away from everyone. Now we have 2 kids with me”- are you now living with your wife and with your two children, while her parents and your parents are in India?

    My comment based on the following, that I assume you wrote regarding your wife: “she says I am useless..the arguments we are having…  she is making me less in front of the kids”- it is bad for your kids to witness their parents arguing and to witness their mother talking badly about their father. If the arguments do not stop and her talking badly about you in front of the children doesn’t stop, then it is better for the children that you separate from their mother and see to it that they live in a peaceful home with respect and no arguments.

    anita

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