- This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 8 months ago by Anonymous.
January 13, 2014 at 10:52 am #49042AnonymousInactive
As I posted a couple of weeks ago, I found out from my partners mother that he had left me and hadn’t even bothered to tell me.
In the 2 weeks since then, so much has come to light, and explains why I feel so much freedom, joy and … lightness really.
He had been lying to me for months, since at least July, and as much as I used to be aware of truth and the way things are before the relationship with him, at that point after we’d been together for 18 months and I hadn’t seen anything to give me pause, I let my guard down, and trusted. Apparently once those walls were down, I trusted fully, and was even going to therapy to work on my trust issues, I think that’s my only regret.
He lied to me the whole entirety of the last 6 months, regarding EVERYTHING. It’s almost laughable at this point. He used my anxiety against me, which upon reflection my anxiety was caused because I was sensing that something was ‘off’, but couldn’t quite, or didn’t want to recognize it.
I found out last week, while he was telling me he was away for work, he was with his new love. I also found out that he’s swindled other women out of thousands of dollars. He had written checks to himself and cashed them, taken money out of my account, and falsely cashed other cheques. It’s a mess, but because I was blind to it all until recently, not much can be done, but I’m doing what I can to try to protect people from him in the future, but my main focus is me. As well, he not only had another women in his life, he married her just before Christmas. I’m financially ruined because of him, my faith in trusting men is completely shattered, but in honesty, it’s worth it to have him gone.
I may mourn and be sad, but it’s for his children, I loved them and I’m scared for them. I will have my ups and downs emotionally, but even though I have learned things in past hurts in past relationships, I have learned the most through this one. It will not break me, I won’t give him that power. Even if I made the mistake in trusting and giving some of my power to him once, I have it back. Eventually, I’m sure I will forgive him, but for now I will try to put anything about him in the back of my mind, for some peace.
Is there anything I should do specifically to help me move on? All my belongings are out of where we lived together with the kids for almost a year, and I’m moving into my new place in a couple of weeks. I went for a massage, and I’m trying to do little things for me like writing in my journal again, and going to be painting my new place so I’m excited for that. Any helpful feedback on additional things I can do to try to heal (besides time, because I know it will take that) are more than welcome! 🙂January 13, 2014 at 2:02 pm #49058Marilyn Briant-RockmoreParticipant
I think you have the most wonderful attitude to what sounds like a real horror story. Like everything we encounter in life, some relationships help us learn so much about our own strength and ability to forgive. This one seems as though it provides the opportunity for so much learning.
You have already started reclaiming your own power and have begun taking the time and actions which honor who you are and your own self worth. It seems to me that just continuing along this path is the most helpful and loving thing you can do for yourself. Not being angry and accepting this very difficult situation will also help you heal and move on.
I so admire your courage in looking honestly at what has occurred and being caring about what happens to the children who are involved. You are right, this will not break you, it will only make you stronger and I am sure your positive outlook will bring you healing and peace.
Love and peace,
MarilynJanuary 14, 2014 at 7:10 am #49087AnonymousInactive
I just wanted to get some feedback on whether I’m on the right track or not.
I’m still very angry and hurt, confused and lost at times, but more than anything I’m afraid that this has ruined me with future relationships and future chances at love.
But, rather than worry about that, I’m just trying to do what I can to find some peace. I want to do all I can to get my life back on track, heal emotionally, and repair the damage that has been done to my finances and everything else.