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A problem that shouldn't be a problem

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  • #80934
    Peri
    Participant

    Hi there,

    I’ve come quite far. My little journey began with separating myself from a lot of toxic relationships. Then I achieved some financial independence in the way of a very small nest egg. Now I have found my confidence, I have begun a degree… I have even let myself fall in love with yoga. And had a well deserved rest.

    I am having problems tryin to get my brain engaged. Some days it feels like the residual negative energy from my past life takes over.

    It’s a strange problem to have.. One some might envy.. But something I could never have prepared for after years of battling traumatic circumstances… Now I’ve made it to safety I don’t seem to be able to engage with the positive physical reality I have created.

    I know I want to seize the day.. Because I have been googling but what for I’m still not sure

    I wake in the morning and instead of doing some asanas.. Burning a josh stick and meditating, enjoying a healthy breakfast…

    I go and slump in front of the TV.

    I am a reserved person and I don’t need lots of friends.. Just one or two quality ones .. My two best friends are living their owns lives now and I’m kind of glad because I don’t want to attach my self to someone else’s happiness I need to learn to cultivate my own

    • This topic was modified 9 years, 4 months ago by Peri.
    #80937
    Saiisha
    Participant

    Hello Peri, Congratulations on coming this far away from your toxic relationships to a life closer to peace and positivity! It is possible that once you overcame your negativity, and created your place of positivity, that you lost your sense of purpose. That may be why you don’t have the energy to do the asanas or meditation. And it’s very natural. No one goes through life at the same speed all the time.

    My suggestion would be to try and figure out what your purpose for life and living is. Each person’s overall life purpose could in fact be a series of several smaller purposes. When you’re in alignment with your true purpose, everything in your being is excited and alive, you don’t burn out, you have an inner fire, but you’re not in a hurry. Every choice, step and direction will be in service of your soul purpose.

    Do you feel like this could be you?

    #80946
    Peri
    Participant

    I certainly do feel like this is a concise way of putting my predicament! And thank you for replying so swiftly.

    I feel that simply saying I feel out of line with my purpose sounds vague as I know my path is positivity and continuing on this little path of enlightenment .. It is the modus operandi I am struggling with.

    I have looked at ashrams, gurus institutions such as the British wheel of yoga. I just feel over whelmed and to be honest it all feels commercial and detached from the reality I need to firmly become part of and feel energised in.. Not dependant on a “cult” (using the term loosely) co dependency..

    #80951
    Saiisha
    Participant

    Yes, it certainly can get overwhelming sometimes! Especially when there are so many paths, all ultimately leading to the same goal, but can get confusing until you find your path. And your path is always your own – no gurus, ashrams or institutions can claim that theirs is the best way. For you – yours is the only, best way. And it’s your responsibility to find it, create it, and follow it.

    So how can I help you? 🙂

    If you’re interested, you can check out my website (you’ll find the link under my profile if you click on my picture) – see if you can relate to what you’re going through at this time.

    #80952
    Peri
    Participant

    Hi Saiisha,

    I just had a read through your website. Your foundations sound so firm and wise.

    Meditating at 5 and living in an ashram sounds like a beautiful way to begin ones life with discipline and inner peace.

    I have felt yoga reconnect me with real life and now that awareness is there it is hard to try and settle into 21st century Britain. Is complete immersion into yoga culture and even geography a possibility or is it more realistic to strive for balance in between off grid yogi and modern day 20 something.

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 4 months ago by Peri.
    #80959
    Saiisha
    Participant

    Thanks Peri – I’m glad the foundations of a life of Peace, Presence and Purpose resonate with you! And I know EXACTLY what you mean about the disconnect between a life of inner wisdom and reality with the 21st century anywhere 🙂 I myself haven’t found a culture and geography where I could fit into well, despite my early leanings – as you saw, I ended up creating my own version of the life I want to live at the Nest In The Forest.

    But of course, how you fit into such a culture is completely personal – and probably worth trying, even if it means learning lessons along the way. However, do not go against your gut instinct when it comes to any culture, guru or institution. This has always been my touchstone – to only follow what feels right within myself. That is the absolute criteria for anything I do.

    #80964
    Saiisha
    Participant

    Peri – just wanted to add – if you want to talk about specific scenarios / personal experiences in a non-public forum, feel free to email me: saiisha[at]rocketmail.com

    #80969
    John Paul Tracey
    Participant

    Hi Peri
    What a wonderful post you have written. You have achieved a lot for yourself. Interestingly I was watching some videos on youtube by Helen Mia Harris about why people get stuck in toxic relationships and its causes are firmly rooted in one or both of the parties, projecting their needs of love and fulfilment on to the other, and looking for reciprocated love to maintain the fulfilment and personal happiness. The relationship, the other person, is all of them. Ultimately lacking is the self love, the identity of self and so on.

    But that aside, what struck me about your post was this…. If I were an artist and I wanted to paint a world class painting, how would I know when to stop tearing up canvas after canvas and submit my painting to the art gallery? I would have to know what “my” world class painting would look like, what feeling would it give me when I looked at it? If I didn’t take the time to think about these simple things, time after time I would keep ripping up the canvas and searching for my masterpiece.

    You are the masterpiece. How will you know when you have reached the nirvana or peace within you? What will it look like, sound like, feel like? What’s the very last thing that would need to happen before you achieved it?

    Answer this for yourself and you will find your search directed, simpler, shorter or no longer required at all. Then you can allow yourself permission to just be you as you are right now because that’s just fine isn’t it? and then live and love your life knowing that you are ready to receive great things from the journey ahead.

    #80993
    Peri
    Participant

    Thank you Saiisha. I will be in contact .. There is much more that I would like to discuss such as the links between karma and the boundaries needed to be set for others.

    Johnpaultracey, to play devils advocate to your beautifully crafted metaphor.. Do you not feel in today’s modern world .. The 24hour hamster wheel commercial borg type society which breeds suppression and inert sensation of having moved too far away from our origins..

    Which makes the realisation you speak off acheivable only to those who have the motivation and will to embark on journeys of self exploration and reading and considering (mindfulness) … As many do not choose to embrace this virtuous way of living .. It is only made available in snippets to be sold in the form of the aforementioned gurus and institutions..

    What I feel keeps me from achieving the zen/chi/yogic baseline reading is the interference from the over population with no direction around me.

    I am sorry to sound negative .. This is clearly something to work on with in my own assessment of the world around me .. But that is why I post it in reply… To hear from the wise and enlightened. To be corrected

    #81005
    JamesEmry
    Participant

    I’m not so sure this is the place to interject a scientific perspective but my story has been dramatic and my changes have been radical so I feel the need to share this with you. I experienced a slump similar to yours in my pursuit of peace, happiness, fitness and relief from social anxiety and couldn’t figure out the reason behind the sudden onset of my lethargy and lack of motivation.

    Before this point, for 4 months I was a machine moving toward my goals and my days were designed for output. Running shoes and outfit laid out, alarm at 7, sprints until 7:30, protein shake for breakfast, research til lunch, write, go lift weights, dinner, meditate, then bed. 5 days a week.

    Then, everything came to a grinding halt and it was like my brakes locked up. Everything was suffering and my writing went to crap. My professors even noticed. I had zero energy or determination like never before so I asked a friend that was in the Exercise Science program about it and she emailed me stacks of literature which was awesome. I assessed my “healthy lifestyle” and realized I was feeding my muscles but not my brain. I had zero sources of DHA in my diet and found that our brains are actually made up of 30% DHA and that deficiencies can severely inhibit performance on cognitive ability tests. I also had no sources of Magnesium in my diet and, for how much I exercised, I should have been intaking a great amount of it.

    So I got serious about it once I saw the evidence published in reputable journals. And my life has been remarkably different in terms of energy and thinking ability. Coming up on 4 years now I eat fish often or take krill oil when I can’t, I start my day with a kale/spinach/tomato/protein smoothie and I get 7 1/2 of sleep every night.

    It is incredible and I feel a world of difference and would implore you to look into feeding your brain in order to get you through that negative energy. I’d also say cancel cable but that’s up to you 😛

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