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Accepting My Dream(s)

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  • November 19, 2013 at 5:45 am #45486
    Kiera
    Participant

    I have been in college for about 2 1/2 years now. All I hear from people is what’s your major? What do you want to do? And I always tell them with an uneasy smile, I don’t know yet; still trying to figure it out, that’s why I’m a Liberal Studies major. It is all a lie. I went to college because that is what I felt that was expected of me. At first I thought ‘hey maybe I will figure out a major that’s actually going to give me a steady job/career that I will love’. But no, I know exactly what my dream (s) is. I just stay coy because if I told people what I really wanted to do, I would most definitely get some weird looks or people saying some negative demeaning comments. I also know though that I shouldn’t listen to them but it is hard to block the negativity out at times. My dream is to be a singer/songwriter or dancer or maybe even both! All I know is that yes, I am free to pursue either one but there is some definite clichés and criticism that come with each. My parents have always told me ‘do what you want’ ‘make sure you have something that will support you’ ‘have a backup’. That is why I have NEVER told them my dream. I hear them talking about how these types of dreams aren’t stable and there is so much struggle and rejection just in casual conversation about one of their OWN relatives and how my parents would rather be comfortable and unhappy than poor and happy. Like obviously I KNOW how much rejection and disappointment there is, I’m not a clueless girl that thinks it’s gonna be all “rainbows and butterflies.” Hearing them say that though made me realize that my happiness means so much more to me than keeping up appearances and having nice things.

    I’ve realized that having these dreams are almost like a burden, they are SO SO hard to accept because of the bad rep that comes with them. I have so many things against me when it comes pursuing either of these dreams, I only took dance for about 3 years when all the professionals I have seen have been dancing their entire lives. I was in chorus/band for about 6 years in middle/high school but, no voice lessons and only have been writing lyrics/songs for about 4 years. Deep down I know that these are my passions, they fill me with so much joy and purpose. Honestly, nothing has ever given me such a rush and fire like these two things. Sometimes I don’t understand why I was given these dream(s). Why couldn’t I have dreamt to be a lawyer or maybe a nurse; something stable like that? My dreams are the ‘one in a million’ dreams but I have never felt this burning desire with any other activity in my life. I have no idea where to even start, all I know is that I can never do something I hate. Life is way to short to be wasting your life with something that makes your heart heavy and drags you down. At the same time though, I have so many things working against me and the negative stigma that goes along with these dreams. I’m sure there’s some of you that feel the same. Would love to hear feedback!

    November 19, 2013 at 6:32 am #45489
    Norna
    Participant

    Hi Kiera,

    Consider the possibility that it’s not an either/or choice. Perhaps you could be a singing lawyer or a dancing nurse. I can see the headlines now, “Meet Kiera, The Woman Who Transformed Nursing Through Dance.” Your parents come from a time when people were mostly one thing during their whole work life. It’s a new world now, you’ll most likely have seven careers. There are many ways to get started on your dreams that don’t involve dropping everything else. Join a church choir, volunteer at a local dance studio for the poor, try out for local theater, play guitar on the street. Here’s the most important part. Your parents probably don’t realize that, like it or not, they too will end up switching roles and careers as they get older. That can be a hard go if they’ve never given it any thought. Now, imagine a time when something changes and they have to change to new roles. They’re lost and confused. Then one of them thinks, “Hey, remember how Kiera started pursuing her dreams? We could do something like that now even though we’re 50 or 60 or whatever.” In other words, what you do now will be a resource for your parents somewhere down the road. So, get out there and give something a try. See what happens. Change course accordingly. You’re gonna have a blast!

    Cheers, Norna

    November 19, 2013 at 10:41 am #45493
    Anders Hasselstrøm
    Participant

    Dear Kiera,

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You are not alone out there.

    I have been a motivational speaker for a long time now and I often do motivational speaking for students at high-schools and colleges. Fact is that most students have no clue about what they want to do with their lives. Most students are dragged through college and high-school because that is what is expected. Majority of my friends trick themselves into believing that having a steady and prestigious job is their dream. You know what? They are fooling themselves! You have a dream to dance and sing? You go for it. Tell the world what you are up to and then keep pushing until you are there. Your parents did not have the same obvious opportunities we have today because it was a different time back then. I say we quit doing stuff the usual way and do it our way instead.

    There is a quote saying: “Life is never easy for those who dream”. Having dreams can be a big challenge but never a burden. You are blessed to be a dreamer Kiera. You are bound to have more happiness in life than most other people but only if you have the courage to pursue those dreams. When you are 80 years old will you look back and be happy you took the easy way or started a daring adventure?

    Decide what you are going to do and then make sure that every second you are awake you are pursuing that dream! Take a look at this YouTube video. It will put things in perspective: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYrmKlAR0g0

    Wish you all the best Kiera,

    Best,
    Anders Hasselstrøm
    Motivational Speaker
    http://www.AndersHasselstrom.com

    November 19, 2013 at 2:03 pm #45500
    Anders Hasselstrøm
    Participant

    By the way Kiera, if you believe I can help you in any way based on my experience I’d love to coach you further via Skype or something else. I know it can be quite a rough situation and I want to contribute to making it easier for you.

    Best,
    Anders

    November 19, 2013 at 3:36 pm #45502
    Kiera
    Participant

    Norna- Thank you, I agree I do think I could inspire them to pursue theirs as well and maybe even others who are doubtful.

    Anders- You sound so wise for 23! (I checked out your blog out of curiosity) I usually get weary of online forums like this but, I can tell you’re completely genuine. I loved the video and what’s ironic is my little brother dreams of becoming a basketball player! I am always trying to encourage him because I know what my parents may just see it as a phase or hobby. Also Awolnation is my FAVORITE band, so the fact that went hand in hand with the being blind concept was powerful and ironic. I love that song and I love their music. So your advice and that video pretty much made my day. I would love to Skype or talk, that’d be great!

    November 21, 2013 at 8:12 am #45581
    Al
    Participant

    Your answer ‘I don’t know’ when you were asked what you want to do in life is already correct. And the notion enforced by our society that we should know what we want to do by the time we graduate from high school is sadly poor guidance. How is anyone supposed to know what they want to do when they’ve experienced so little? *Wink*, exactly. Don’t concern yourself with the expectations of others and society. Your own happiness is what counts as it is what’s at stake. Explore everything and anything you’re curious about. Experience and experiment until you find something dedicating your heart to, which actually brings me to your dreams.

    Concerning dreams: do not hesitate. So few of us live our lives having found our passions. To have found it at such a young age is a wonderful thing. Ask yourself what your biggest regret would be if you were old and grey. Think positively, always, rid yourself of doubt and most importantly believe in yourself! If you don’t then your hard work will mean nothing along with your dreams.

    In closing, don’t rush, don’t feel rushed, just go about everything in a calm way. Over exciting yourself will only pollute your head. Most importantly, don’t forget to have fun on your path(s) and do smile with both your face and heart. What would the point of chasing your dreams mean if you can’t even enjoy it? 🙂

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