Forum Replies Created
November 19, 2013 at 6:32 am #45489
Consider the possibility that it’s not an either/or choice. Perhaps you could be a singing lawyer or a dancing nurse. I can see the headlines now, “Meet Kiera, The Woman Who Transformed Nursing Through Dance.” Your parents come from a time when people were mostly one thing during their whole work life. It’s a new world now, you’ll most likely have seven careers. There are many ways to get started on your dreams that don’t involve dropping everything else. Join a church choir, volunteer at a local dance studio for the poor, try out for local theater, play guitar on the street. Here’s the most important part. Your parents probably don’t realize that, like it or not, they too will end up switching roles and careers as they get older. That can be a hard go if they’ve never given it any thought. Now, imagine a time when something changes and they have to change to new roles. They’re lost and confused. Then one of them thinks, “Hey, remember how Kiera started pursuing her dreams? We could do something like that now even though we’re 50 or 60 or whatever.” In other words, what you do now will be a resource for your parents somewhere down the road. So, get out there and give something a try. See what happens. Change course accordingly. You’re gonna have a blast!
Cheers, NornaNovember 18, 2013 at 11:39 am #45442
Nepal – lovely people, amazing mountainsNovember 18, 2013 at 10:57 am #45434
I’m sorry this happened to you as well.
Please remember that you don’t have to solve this all at once. Just go one day at a time and one small step at a time. Perhaps you can go out for short walks. You could try communicating with good friends via email or phone. Maybe you could arrange to meet just one friend and see how it goes. I believe you will discover much sympathy and support.
Like Karin said, you are strong enough to deal with this.
NornaNovember 17, 2013 at 2:17 pm #45402
Thanks for your post. It’s a good question. For me it’s dogs. Those big, brown, trusting, innocient eyes… Whew! Even thinking about them suffering makes me queasy. What kind of frame could make sense of that, could make it ultimately okay? I’m sure you’ve already heard the standard explanations. If there’s free will then cruelty has to be an option. How about, “this life is some kind of illusion so the suffering isn’t really real”? Then there’s always the idea that the elephant was bad in a previous life and is now paying the piper. None of that really helps does it? In fact, for me, I’m always going to mistrust any frame that tries to make innocient suffering okay, because it’s not okay. Now for the gobbledigook. The trick is to be okay with it not being okay.
What can that possibly mean? You say a voice whispers to you of suffering when you’re contemplating abundance. Trust that voice, it’s calling you to make suffering part of your practice. Instead of ignoring it or trying to make it go away, turn and look. Make as much space for it as you can. If you’re feeling strong and brave let it break your heart a little bit. See what comes next. Your journey will be your own. But, for a lot of folks, as Matt said, this is the beginning of compassion flowering. Compassion for the innocient, then for the guilty, and ultimately for yourself. When the elephant returns, make room, sit quietly, be present for him and for yourself.
No frame is going to make this okay. It shouldn’t. But, you can give it meaning, and maybe, possibily, discover beauty thereby.
Love, NornaNovember 17, 2013 at 10:47 am #45400
Congratulations on a journey bravely begun! You’re right that awareness and acceptance are going to be two of your most steadfast allies on this journey. It’s good to be clear about what you’re accepting, though. Accept your current understanding of the past. That understanding will change. Try this… Save what you’ve written here and look at it in a year, or five years, or ten years. You’ll be amazed at how much more you understand, how different the past seems. Some of the hardest kernels will have revealed their gifts. Here’s the first magic. When you look back you’re going feel such compassion and such pride for the you who wrote this today. You’ll recognize her innocence and courage. And, the second magic is that by doing this exercise you’ll have access to some of that future compassion right now. For some immediate relief try helping someone else. For a week try doing one anonymous act of kindness each day. Plan it out before you get out of bed each morning. You’ll be amazed.
A fellow wayfarer salutes you!