engagement cancelled due to my ex

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    i had a bf who is very possessive and dominating.he says that he loves me but he never had time to spend with me or atleast to call me or txt me.he simply says he love me..i felt really bad and lonely.i tried to explain him many times that i was feeling lonely but he never bothered.finally i told him that i cant go ahead in such a manner ,even then he din react he kept silent.when i was engaged to some other person and started saying that he wants me back.finally he talked to my fiance and spoiled the whole thing and finally my engagement was broken.i was in depression din step out of my home from last 4months,as i informed all my friends n relatives that im gonna get married.n all of a sudden this happened.i donno how to afce im from a orthodox kinda of a family ,people around me look for details of watever has happened.its killing me..i donno wat to do.i feel like killing myself


    Hi Rithu,

    I’m so sorry for the pain this has caused you.

    I’m sure that the people who love you, your family and your friends, will understand when you explain to them what has happened. When you confide in them and let yourself be vulnerable you might be surprised at what happens.

    Please read the articles on this website and know that you are strong enough to live through this. I have faith in you, because i know you have everything within you that you need to lead the life you are meant to live.

    I wish you strength and love,


    Hi Rithu,

    I’m sorry this happened to you as well.

    Please remember that you don’t have to solve this all at once. Just go one day at a time and one small step at a time. Perhaps you can go out for short walks. You could try communicating with good friends via email or phone. Maybe you could arrange to meet just one friend and see how it goes. I believe you will discover much sympathy and support.

    Like Karin said, you are strong enough to deal with this.



    Dear Rithu,

    I echo what Karin and Norna have said, sorrow that these things have happened and caused you to feel such pain. After being w/my first love for 7 years and about to celebrate our long awaited engagement announcement at the end of a deployment, he started being evasive and delaying. After a couple of weeks, some of my newer friends asked, “Where’s the invitation?” I didn’t know what to say. I asked his family, they didn’t know where he was either. I finally traveled 2 hrs to see his brother, to see if he knew what was going on. He did. He told me he had just heard from my love who eloped to Oklahoma with someone who’d been married twice before. Not even their mother knew. I wanted to die. In fact I was quite sure that I would drop dead from the pain, betrayal and humiliation I felt.

    I cried at his parents house with his mother and sister. They had to drive me home to my parents. I went to my room and couldn’t stop crying or go out for 2 or 3 days. It was after the holidays and I had to go back to work. I guess someone from my family or maybe client who had heard what happened told my co-workers. Everyone was very kind and supportive. I had to let them help me through it, which was so unnatural feeling because I had always had to be strong and independent before, as a military fiancee. Once the break-up “felt real” I did want to talk about it but I gave myself a deadline so I wouldn’t dwell there in the pain indefinitely. I decided I’d let myself “go there” but on day 21 they were to tell me, “It’s time to move on.” People who do love you need to be needed by you at these times. Ask for what you do know you need. As Norna said one step at a time. Be willing to accept yourself with or without the pain and little by little you’ll find your way past it.

    I too believe in your strength of spirit to teach you that you are so much more than one person’s opinion of you. Even the opinion you hold of yourself. Smile just a little secret smile, we’re all pulling for you here. Ruth


    2 birds 1 stone

    Your fiance took advice from your ex?
    Seems you just got very lucky to find out your fiance doesn’t have your back.
    Who needs a man who doesn’t stand up for his woman?

    You are out of the danger zone with both these men.

    Rejoice and think well of it all.

    As for what others think. None of their business. None…
    Tell them that and gain respect and strength.
    There is nothing more powerful, than silent knowing.

    Buddha sits still and smiles, you do not know why, but it comforts you anyway.
    Sit still and smile, to thoughs who are uncomfortable, let them find the answers to their own mysteries.


    Thanks a lot karin,morna,netminnow,JoJOE
    JoJoe being a girl from india,facing a broken engagement is no easy.though i try to forget all these things,people around have hell of questiosn abt wat has happened.
    n my family members wanted me to get married to my ex.As he wants me,thats d reason he stopped my wedding.but my ex is as stubborn as earlier.Though his parents are ready ,he wants an explanation from me(why i tried to get married?) when i explained him that its because of his mistake.he is nt ready to accept it.Infact he is behaving in arude manner.But still i have to go thru all these..n shd get married.thats d advice i get from my nearby people.


    Oh dear Rithu,

    We had no idea it was like that for you. No idea of your background. And still, I know you are strong enough! I pray you will only marry someone who is good to you, who loves you and whom you love! I hope you will find a way to choose for yourself. Even if that means waiting a while longer before getting married.

    I wish you lots of wisdom!

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