Hey all, could really do with some impartial advice. Just come out of a one and a half year relationship which ended really badly. I’d been single on and off for a couple of years after breaking with my ex who I had a son with. It wasn’t always easy as I felt I missed out on been a full time dad but built a strong relationship with him, having him every weekend and holidays too.

Anyway, met a girl online a year and half ago who had a little girl the same age as my son. I fell completely for her, she was kind, great with the kids, wanted the same in life and was very attractive. Not long after we started seeing each other she disclosed that she had recently broke with fiancé who she was due to buy a house with and marry. She appeared very low and depressed at times and I tried to support her the best I could. I asked if it was maybe a little soon for her given her recent break but she assured me she only felt low as she realised she was going to make a massive mistake marrying this other guy now she had met me.

To take her mind of things I took on a very expensive weekend away to a top hotel. I did all I could to give her a romantic, special weekend away. On our first night out we went to a bar, she came back with some drinks and told me she had been chatted up at the bar, she then went onto explain guys buy her drinks all the time and she got angry when I suggested this may give people the wrong impression. Anyway, she got quite mad and stormed off back to the hotel. I tried to calm the situation down but was told that I wasn’t the man she thought I was. I went up to our room as she wanted to stay outside and smoke. When she came back up she told me that a guy in the lift had asked her back to his room and said her boyfriend was a lucky man. I though it odd that she felt the need to tell me this given what had happened in the bar.
After trying to talk to her she broke down and told me that she had been sexually abused as a child by her grandad and then in later life raped by her brother’s friend. I gave her all the support and help I could with this very sad and difficult situation. Things got really tough though as her grandad was still alive and an active part of her life and her daughters, to the point in which she would let him pick her up from school and babysit. It caused a lot of fights very early on in are relationship as I said I could not allow this to continue with her daughter given what I knew. She put me in some really difficult positions as she invited me to her family home where I had to make small talk with her grandad, knowing all he had done.

She was in a very difficult position as she was supposed to be buying a house with her ex and was quickly having to look for a place to live. She told me the town she lived in had so many bad memories as the guy that raped her would still come into her place of work and smile at her. I had a house in a different county/state so I said her and her daughter could move in with me. I spent most of my savings making the house a home for her, letting her choose and decide on decoration and things.

At the point we were moving she disclosed she was pregnant, I had mixed emotions as I was concerned how quickly this had happened and that I had seen a different side to her. However I was excited to get a second chance at been a full time dad. Not long after we moved in the cracks started to show, one minute she was fine and telling me how much she loved me, the next she would get really angry, storm off and not talk and tell me she hated me. As things progressed I tried to get her to understand that some of her outbursts and the depression and anxiety could be related to her past experiences. She agreed to see a doctor who referred her to a mental health team. Things just seem to get worse though, she would say really hurtful things like I don’t love you, you’ve let yourself go, you’re not the man I met, I’m leaving and you’ll never see your son, she even told me she wished he was her ex partners child not mine.

I spent all my savings trying to give her the things she wanted and needed, never asked her for any money towards bills, paid for all her daughters day to day stuff, bought her a car, expensive clothes, jewellery and put money into her account so she could have some independence after she stopped working. All I got in return was to be constantly told that I was selfish, a horrible man. The next day she would love me again though and never mention her comments or apologise. Her insecurity was always there though, asking about female friends and telling me about ex partners that wanted her back and guys that had asked her out in bars.

I had just booked and paid for a family holiday for the summer 2016, we had an argument one Saturday afternoon and ended up back home after a walk out. I sat her down and said sorry for been a bit short tempered as id had a stressful week at work. She got really mad and wouldn’t accept my apology, as a result the following morning she told my family the relationship was over. I went to work on the Monday and tried to speak to her about her plans, telling her I loved her and to wait and talk. When I got home from work she had packed the house up and taken her daughter out of school. I was naturally worried about are young son and said I was concerned with her behaviour and state of mind. She then picked a glass up and came at me with it. She stated afterwards that she was just trying to throw a drink over me but I naturally put my hand out to stop it hitting my face, she cut open my hand and severed my tendons. I had to drive myself to the hospital with one hand as she refused to get me an ambulance. I was kept in for surgery and told I would be off work for three months.

When I returned home she was gone, she left to live with family and blocked all forms of communication so I couldn’t find anything out about my son. Few days past and I got an email asking for child support. I explained that I would sort it as soon as I had recovered which she wasn’t very happy about. Anyway, a day or two later she got back in touch saying that she was just unhappy in our home and missed her friends and that she didn’t want to talk about her past or mental health appointment. She told me she loved me and wanted it to work if I would sell my house and buy a place near her friends. I said I needed time to think and asked her to come see me. She brought my son and we had a great weekend together, we made plans for the following weekend and over the next few days she told me how much she loved me. Then like a light switch been turned off I got a message saying, I’ve had second thoughts I don’t want to get back with you. She then blocked my number and all forms of communication. I was completely devastated, my eldest son had thought of her as a step mum and loved seeing his little brother, I had to sit down and try and explain to a 6 year old that they had gone.

I guess I reacted on emotions though and sent an email to her father explain about her past, her behaviour and the forthcoming mental health appointment. As a result he sent me a very abusive message back and also stated if I ever want to see my son again I need to go through the courts. It’s been a month now and I’m still recovering from the hand injury and without any form of communication from my ex who now has my son. I feel in a very, very dark place right now and any advice would be greatly appreciated.