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Afraid of my feelings

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  • August 18, 2013 at 5:52 am #40685
    Annika
    Member

    So I just met a guy who is pretty much everything I ever wished for.

    The thing is that I´ll move away in a month, he will be in Denmark and I will be in Germany. He knows that I am moving away, and still he wanted to go out on dates with me.
    He told me he really likes me, and wants to meet me again.

    Now I´m so afraid that I´ll just like him more and more. And then, when we´ve been “going out” for about a month, maybe when things are the most romantic and wonderful, I´ll go away and maybe I will not even be able to see him for AT LEAST a month, if not 2 months… Or even longer?

    I am thinking that I maybe should stop seeing him, but it feels so right with him. I want to give us a chance. But what should I do, when I move away?
    What will happen then? I´m so afraid that this will end in a horrible heartbreak.

    Never in my life have I been this afraid of my feelings. Should I stop meeting him now, before it gets out of hand?

    August 18, 2013 at 10:45 am #40700
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Annika,
    What a wonderful thing it is to meet someone like that! We go through so many relationships feeling luke-warm and then to meet someone who really resonates with us is such a delightful, enlivening experience! I am very happy for you and this moment in your life. Which way feels most prudent for you? What does your heart want to do? Though you may want to jump into this, head over heels, would the decision be grounded in wisdom? I wonder what this fear is about that you are experiencing? From where does this fear originate? There is no right way to go about this – only you know the all of the details of the situation and only you can decide what is best for you. May you be led to make a decision based in wisdom, joy, and happiness.

    -JD

    August 19, 2013 at 1:58 pm #40766
    Zenhen
    Participant

    Annika,

    Go for it! Wholeheartedly go for it! Call me a helpless or hopeful romantic but if he truly is everything you wanted then go for it! Let’s say that there was no relocation involved. You both would be staying in the same place. Would being in the same city guarantee that your heart won’t be broken? There are no guarantees in love. None at all. Love really is blind. You have to trust. And if your heart breaks it can really only ever break open. Everything is temporary in life and I wouldn’t give up a wonderful month of being with someone I connect with out of fear of not “having” them permanently. (Having in quotation marks because we can never really possess anyone).

    I had the same situation happen to me and it was over after he left but it was soooo good while it lasted. I also learned a lot about my myself and was able to grow from it. Also think of the movie Grease, they have a fabulous summer romance because they both knew they would be going separate ways. When coincidentally they ended up living in the same town, all of these problems surfaced between them. So maybe this impermanence is what is causing the excitement after all. You know? Knowing that you only have such little time together so you make the most of it. Imagine if we lived our lives realizing just how impermanent we all are, we would live life so much more joyfully, lovingly, and toss fear out of the window. We are not guaranteed any amount of time. Love is all we need. Just follow your heart, it knows best.

    Good luck to you!

    Zenhen

    August 21, 2013 at 10:30 pm #40955
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey,Annika try it out.I see u r really resisting your heart’s wish by your mind’s thoughts. One thing I want to say is every moment is a learning process. Learn through it. As a girl, your decision making must be hard but u have to make either one, don’t you? You can’t say i am sooo not doing anything about it and run away. If you had past relationships think about where you are now then when you didn’t had one? You really gotta give it a go, maybe you each other are the light of either one’s darknesses. But also watch out for only physical attractions, he may be only wanting your body not your soul.

    At last, I want you to give only a small piece of you to him and if he catches that you are good and well to go. You can’t expect for tomorrow, see the obituaries of people in newspaper, they all thought they had one more day left but didn’t. All you have is the Power Of Now. Plan the Future, don’t get to it right now.

    Good Luck On Decision-Making!!!!

    Danger

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