Relationship for three years.  Abruptly she tells me we are really just great friends.  Never once having brought it up. Blindsided l left to for home. She calls to tell it was my happiness not hers. Then ceases all communication until after 4 weeks we texted. Refuses to see me. Her treatment if what was a big investment has me livid. She gave me no voice. Worse ditched a fun deal. I am 60. I wasted three years on her. She was the mate of my dreams especially after leaving an abusive 29 year marriage.

I wont trust again. Im not a big social person. I dont know what healing is. I do know i knew better as she is a lifelong serial dater with her only marriage ending by her choice after 3 years. Drags a couple of old boyfriends along in secret. Even after i asked her to end it or I didn’t want to start. One she kept in the open as a Labrador retriever. The other i caught her in a lie. She said it was over but up until the day I discovered it eas sending him money in prison. He is a con artist investor got caught stealing 21+ million from people who trusted him.
I thought we were different but at three years like clockwork she said we were just great friends and shut me off with exception to a few bs lines about my happiness being more important to her than her own.  Six weeks later we text some out of sheer loneliness. I know she cares for bur she is not coming back.

I am miserable for ignoring the signs of her life. Now after giving her three years i am 60 and screwed. I love who I thought she was. I hate the one i know now.  I am so sad i really dont want to see anyone let alone trust ever again. She is 48. Ive even looked at dating sites and to be honest almost all the women i see are just not appealing to me. So im kinda hopeless and wishing my God will just bring me home. Alone and lonely does not appeal to me.

i guess it is celavie but now i just want be done here  period  no more therapy  no more pills  it does not help. I love her but she does not.