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Alcoholic brother/Family troubles

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  • September 16, 2018 at 12:22 am #225833
    dom
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    My family has a long history of alcoholics. In nov. 2016, I lost my oldest brother it alcoholism and I am worried I may lose my other older brother. I know that you can not save people and they have to want to get help and this makes me feel helpless. He gets very mean when he is drunk and whether if he is sober or drunk he is impossible to get through too. Everyone in my family has tried. Interventions, one on one, you name it. He is in complete denial. He gets very angry and defensive if you even bring it up. He feels attacked even if you speak kindly too him trying to let him know you just care. He starts fights and he says very hurtful things. I just don’t know what to do. I feel helpless and worried. My family has experienced so much loss in our lives and I am so worried for everyone. Any advice anyone has on how to deal with this situation or even sharing your own experiences will be very appreciated. I don’t know how to help him and at times have a hard time staying strong and positive. thank you

    September 16, 2018 at 8:56 am #225875
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear dom:

    Reads to me that you tried your best to reach your brother and that he persistently rejected your efforts to help him, even saying “very hurtful things” to you when you talk kindly to him. You wrote that you feel helpless, and indeed, reads to me that you are helpless as far as successfully helping him. In other words, it is not possible for you to help him.

    This is one situation where the part of the serenity prayer that states: “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change” can be helpful. It is difficult to accept painful realities, but if you do manage to accept this or that painful reality, you no longer try to change it, and so you no longer focus on it and get exhausted trying the impossible yet again, and again.

    anita

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