Hi Jamie,
Obviously, we’ve been given a very small snapshot into your relationship so it’s hard for any of us to make big decisions like “leave him” on your behalf.

I think their are two issues at play here.
1. Your boyfriend is abusive.
Your friends are the best litmus test here.
If he’s a jerk and making you feel bad then I agree with Anita – there are better fish in the sea.
But if he’s a cool guy and you trust him and he’s just acting like a jerk because we all say dumb things in the heat of the mo’ and you wanna see your relationship work, then that’s cool too.
It’s your decision but I wouldn’t get too hung up on the one guy.

2. Cheating
To me this is a separate issue and I got some really fantastic advice on the subject.
A relationship is all about trust. Breaking that trust is the cheating part.
If my GF got drunk and kissed someone, I would forgive her because we all do dumb things when we’re drunk.
Just cause we’re in a relationship doesn’t mean we can’t get a crush on another person / always be devout.
But if she saw that guy after that night, I would consider that breaking the limits of our trust.

If you want your relationship to work, I would highly recommend cutting ties with that boy you kissed.
Having him in the picture hampers the trust your bf can put into you and will stop him from moving on.
Good luck dude and be mindful of these relationships on your health.
Have fun, as soon as these relationships affect your health, they ain’t worth your time.

Hi Jamie,

Every breakup is different so again this advice only goes so far.
Also, I’ve gone through a few breaks-ups but absolutely no expert.
I always find the best way to exit a relationship emotionally for both parties is tell him the relationship is over and state directly to him that he isn’t going to be able to get in contact, spend one last night together and then cut all ties completely for three months.

This may seem cold but the small getting back togethers, the long phone calls and the checking in on one another. It gives your bf the wrong impression of your intentions, it shakes your confidence in your decision and ultimately I find it creates more pain for both of you (even though your intention is to lessen the pain by staying in contact).

Exiting a relationship and blocking him out takes an incredible amount of willpower.
Time heals all but at first it’s like the most guilty and worst feeling in the world.
Obviously you have this community but ask your friends and family for support and help before you do it.
If you fall into the “there’s no one else for me” trap then get active on a dating site.
Delete boyfriend from whatsapp so you’re not tempted to text.
Coffee after three months ideal as the emotion is gone and you can both objectively find closure.