Hi everyone,

I would appreciate some feedback on this problem I have with my boyfriend and any advice.
A little background- we have been together for 3 years and he is a recovering addict/alcoholic, but has relapsed several times throughout our relationship. He falls off the wagon, but will get back on it quickly. Naturally many codependent habits have developed within me, distrust, control-issues, paranoia, etc.

There is this one reoccurring problem that I just can’t seem to shake. I have the hardest time letting him get off the phone when he wants to go to bed. I simply tense up when he says he has to go and I have to talk about it and ask questions such as “you are going to bed because you are tired, not because you don’t want to talk to me.” I know deep down he’s just going to bed, but for some reason I have to say those questions out loud, and hear him answer. I have come up with every reason why I act like this- insecurity about myself, distrust, codependency etc. But I cannot seem to shake it and just let him go. This creates a problem for myself and also him, the longer he stays up the more annoyed he gets and the more likely we are to get into an argument. This is definitely not healthy for either one of us.

Any feedback would be soooo appreciated!