Dear Francesca:

First I will repeat and quote from what you shared in a post you submitted in another thread and in your original post on your own thread, then I will give you my input:

“through my whole childhood”, you wrote, you were “told to behave a certain way, do certain things and even down to the topics I choose to speak about when around company”.

“I was heavily criticized and my qualities were never celebrated or recognized by ‘the people who mattered’…It was one rule for me, another for others”.

By this point in time, you identified certain qualities about yourself that are unusual: you are highly fascinating (“lots of people seem to be highly fascinated with me”), you possess an energy that drives people to be attracted to you, to fall in love with you quickly, to form strong connections with you and to be affected positively by you. Your “words are highly valued”, and you have the unusual ability to adapt what you say, your tone and quality of voice to any situation. And you did “so many incredible things” in your young life. You are “extremely sensitive and able to connect to other energies, adaptable, flexible and learn fast.

You asked: “Are there other people out there that are ‘irresistible’, ‘mysterious’… Am I crazy or interpreting this completely wrong? What does it all mean? How can I help people/ use this in a positive way? What powers does a quality like this contain?”

Now my input: you may be familiar with this happening: a young child in preschool arrives home with a parent, opens his little backpack and produces his latest art work, lines of different colors on a piece of white paper, presents it with pride to his mother: Look what I did!

The child is fascinated by what she was able to do. You are fascinated with yourself in a similar way but unlike almost every young child who presents his drawing creation as a Masterpiece who learns too soon that such masterpieces exist everywhere, attached to thousands of refrigerators all over town, you are still fascinated by your intelligence, your social skills, your ability to have an affect on others and you think you are indeed, the only one. Therefore you ask: “Are there other people out there that are (like you)”- you only know you to be these things.

You may very well have a higher IQ than most people, you may have superior social skills, but you are not as superior as you think you are. If you were the only one, one of a kind, you wouldn’t have been left without a job (“Due to circumstances, I have been left without a job”). The person or people doing the hiring and firing would have been so affected by you they wouldn’t let you go.

Your childhood experience (quotes in the beginning of my post to you) was such that repeatedly and throughout,  you were given the message that you behave wrong, that you choose to talk about the wrong topics when in company, that you said wrong and did wrong and you are of no value, really. So what you did next was to go from that one extreme of being wrong and incapable (not true to reality) to the other extreme, being one of a kind, the one and only most right, most capable.

Again, you are probably very capable, intelligent and so forth, but not to the extreme you presented. The high that you get from this presentation, in your own mind, is not sustainable and will be followed by lows of the intensity of the highs. There is no  way for you to remain in one extreme of the spectrum for long. What happens instead is moving from one extreme to another high to low and high again, eventually falling into the low end.

Way, way better, learn to see yourself in a realistic way, capable and able to learn well and become even more capable, instead of seeing yourself as the one and only, separate from and superior to other humans, a god of sorts.

What do you think?

anita