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Anxiety with fighting

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  • January 5, 2017 at 5:25 pm #124652
    Katie
    Participant

    I have noticed that I have a tendency to obsess when someone I care about is angry with me, or if I think they are angry with me. When I start to have these thoughts they fester into greater and greater anxiety until I can solve the issue or diminish the idea. I am not sure why I do this and hate how it makes me feel. I have such a fear of fighting with friends because I know how it will consume my thoughts. I am not sure if this is a direct result of my relationships or something deeper. I think if I could figure out what the source of my anxiety of people being angry with me is, I could start to have healthier relationships and a healthier mindset.

    Disclaimer: I have one friend who I am very close with, but has been more and more emotionally abusive throughout the years. She can be very aggressive with her thoughts and only tends to see her point of view. I am not sure if this relationship is the root cause of my anxiety, or maybe something deeper. Any thoughts or similar experiences?

    January 5, 2017 at 6:08 pm #124660
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear klamx10:

    Yes, I was very afraid of people being angry at me, until recently. I also obsessed, running conversation in my brain where people argue with me, criticize me and I answer them, defending myself.

    The reason, in my case, is that my mother was often enough angry at me and when she was angry, she attacked me verbally, viciously. Sometimes physically again. So I learned that anger is very dangerous.

    Anger is not pleasant for anyone, but when you grow up with a parent who is abusive-while-angry (and yelling, raising voice is … abusive enough to scare a child!), the fear becomes great and all consuming.

    Does this help your understanding of your case?

    anita

    January 5, 2017 at 6:36 pm #124662
    Katie
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you for this response! It is very helpful to gain some insight into other peoples experiences with this, as well as know that others struggle as well. If I may ask, how did you get over this fear? I am beginning to possibly pint point some of the causes for myself, but can still not shake the fear and anxiety when it arises. Any advice?

    KAtie

    January 6, 2017 at 9:02 am #124675
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Katie:

    You are welcome. Tell me more about your understanding of the causes in your situation (your childhood?) and then I will be better able to give you my advice.

    anita

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