Ive been with someone on and off for 8 years, 5 consecutive then broke up for two then back together for 3 years. I proposed 3 years ago, but nothing really changed. She wore the ring but we didn’t move forward. We still lived with our parents, i was barely making any money to support myself. More recently i got a full time job but we still couldn’t make plans to move forward, nothing concrete anyway. She was my best friend and i loved her, but there was also something missing. I dont know, i was feeling complacent despite a lack of fire or passion. I was ok with this. Until i started texting an old friend from college ive known for 13 years. I had a crush on her when i first met her but never acted on it. We spent the last 4 months texting every day, becoming closer and had long phone calls. Eventually it hit me, I cant stop thinking about her and that she makes me feel a way i haven’t felt in a long time. Its not just the excitement of something potentially new, its something deeper. I was having an emotional affair and it was driving me crazy. My fiance deserved better than this. She was giving me 100% but i kept thinking about my old friend. In the end I decided to tell her the truth about how i was feeling for someone else and now we’re on a break.
Everyone tells me I did the right thing, that it was the adult thing to do and Im glad i was honest. I feel bad but i know its the guilt of hurting someone I love. Im not really sure what Im hoping to accomplish by typing this on here.
Everyone tells me it was the right to do, to be honest with her instead of thinking of someone else. Its barely been 24 hours so its fresh and i guess i just need to process everything.