I did something shameful when I was a teenager. Noone was hurt but unquestionably bad and I’ve been ashamed of it ever since. Looking back, I can’t believe I allowed myself to do it and it seems a million miles away from the character I am now. Still, I can’t escape the fact that it happened and it was me, albeit a young me.
Whilst I recognise that I just move on in life, doing my best to live well and demonstrate that I’m not a bad person, can I realistically have a partner and allow her to love me? This is something I’ve not been comfortable with. I can’t talk about this thing with anyone because I’m ashamed of it and it’s not something I feel is the version of me that I am now and have been for my entire adult life. I just struggle with thoughts that if people could see everything I did as a minor, they’d not think of me the same way and so allowing people to think I’m a good, loveable person, seems insincere and unfair on them.