Hi,

I wonder if anyone can advise me on this?

my husband and I have been together for 12 years and have 2 young children. We were blissfully happy until our accidentally earlier than planned 2nd pregnancy. He became vile to me, it was scary how much he changed, like Mr Hyde. He was rude to me, made me feel utterly useless, said awful things to me in front of people. I was in a lot of pain that time around, I could barely walk but he didn’t care and expected me to still run around after our toddler. Over the year after my daughter was born things became worse, I had post natal depression which I struggled to tell him about but when I did he said that he had ‘too many of his own issues to deal with and I’d have to sort it out’, he forced me into sex after I’d been up all night with my baby, I know it sounds stupid but I was too tired to even lift my head let alone resist, he told me he wanted a divorce many times usually after I’d refused sex, he cheated once but lied for months about it telling me I was insane to even think it, eventually he confessed in a complete state of devastation. I was frightened by this person, I didn’t know him as the kind and gentle man I loved. I’d sob in a ball and he’d just ignore me, I think I actually felt my heart rip in two, I wanted my caring loving husband back, not this monster. We went to couples counselling and things changed rapidly, he admitted to everything, he’d sob and sob for days saying how sorry he was and he’d never forgive himself, how I was the love of his life and he thought he’d had a nervous breakdown which could only explain his behaviour.
That was a year ago, since then he’s been the man I married, kind sweet loving gentle. But he broke my heart, I’m seeing a counsellor to help me with anxiety issues I’ve suddenly developed, but I get the feeling she is edging me towards the idea of leaving him.
Can you ever love someone fully again if they wounded you so badly?

xx