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Can't find any Joy in Jobs

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  • January 8, 2017 at 4:00 pm #124864
    Jacklyn
    Participant

    Good Evening fellow Tiny Buddha fourm folks,

    Let me start this off by saying I’m only 29 years old, but I feel I too old to be feeling this frustrated.

    I usually go into office/administrative jobs because I feel like I don’t have many skills. Although I am a very hard worker, I’ve been critized/praised for “going above and beyond” many times.

    But every job I’ve had, which after college I’ve had about 5 so far, I find an aspect I hate about a job. It’s either a coworker who likes to intimidate me because I am very timid or likes to bully me into taking on their work. Funny part is that the bosses I’ve had usually like me, its the coworkers who do not like me.

    I have anxiety so I think about work constantly. I’m currently in a situation where I am in a toxic work environment. My coworkers gossip, hate one another, and are generally miserable. It is a very tiny office. I’m so nervous because each little move I make can get me reprimanded or scolded. The bosses don’t care and the place has a high turnover rate with people quiting on the spot.

    I’ve complained about jobs before to my parents, whom I live with. I don’t want them to see me as a constant job hopper or can’t hold down a job (I’ve only been downsized one and quit a job once). I feel like such a failure in the employment aspect of life. How do I stop making a job my whole focus? I try to distract myself with hobbies but my anxiety keeps the job in focus. Do people ever get jobs they enjoy?

    Thank you for reading.

    January 8, 2017 at 5:17 pm #124881
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear jacklyn25:

    It will help if you become less timid and more assertive- that will help you at work and in every other part of your life. In the employment part, if your job is not a high skill/ high demand job, and you are timid, unassertive, you are not going to do well, regardless of how hard you work. This is because it is more likely that co workers will take advantage of you/ bully you; you are less likely to get a raise or be promoted.

    Assertiveness is a skill that you can learn in competent psychotherapy. There are even books on it, workbooks with exercise (I imagine); sources online. You can learn and practice, every day, in your private life, with your parents, and at work.

    Some jobs will still be unpleasant or worse- because they are. But becoming assertive will make some jobs way better for you!

    anita

    January 8, 2017 at 5:37 pm #124882
    Jacklyn
    Participant

    Anita:

    Thank you for your insight! Although I am timid at first, once I get more experience/comfortable in my role I become more assertive.

    To me, being more assertive is easier when I get to know someone. Perhaps it is a comfort thing.

    However in my current situation I am too fearful to be assertive because I’ve heard/experienced people being fired after they stood up to the manager of the office. It is a very hostile work environment.

    As for personally, I am usually assertive with my family. I do believe I can work on being more assertive in the future.

    January 8, 2017 at 9:14 pm #124899
    VJ
    Participant

    Dear jacklyn25,

    Even I had to change multiple jobs due to unforeseen circumstances either in personal or in professional life.
    Although I have changed jobs to get rid of my unfavourable situation at that time, I had to face its results too – like companies asking during interviews “Why did you leave X company so soon?” etc. It didn’t look good on my Resume. But I learned to give some sort of tricky and diplomatic answers during the interviews and somehow got through them in various companies.

    Co-workers not good, office premises very filthy, workplace is far from home, work environment and culture is not good, not enough ventilation-making you feel sick, boss not at all co-operative, you cannot get your own lunch and there is no food near your workplace, etc.

    What I have found is that all such things are bound to happen – either right now in my current organisation OR later in the same organisation OR when moved to any other organization.

    If you really feel terrible and hopeless about going to work each day then you could look elsewhere but there is no guarantee that there are not going to be the occurrence of the above mentioned issues, although it may seem good in the beginning. Somewhere there has to come a time when you do something such that irrespective of the external situations of life you remain undisturbed or the external circumstance may just touch the surface of your being and go away.

    Have you heard of or do you understand the concepts like – rising above your situation, acceptance, intense presence, surrender, mindfulness?

    If yes, then well and good and continue to follow and practice them.
    If not, I suggest you start exploring about them and begin practicing them in your daily life (which will not only help you in your job situation but in any aspect of your life).

    Check out the below video from Eckhart Tolle who is one of the greatest spiritual masters of our times who’s main teachings are in the above concepts that I mentioned.
    The video is about a question on a boring job but is ultimately about a job that is not likable.

    How Can I Find Work That Will Give Me Joy?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFGAvPud80A

    Good Luck and best wishes!
    VJ

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by VJ.
    • This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by VJ.
    January 23, 2017 at 8:06 pm #126018
    seek
    Participant

    Jacklyn,

    I know this struggle as I’m currently in an awkward situation. But at the same time I know I need to move on to another company.

    I’ve just been promoted as of last year. Though the co-worker who originally got me in the job was a very good manager and knew how to manage the show. The current individual who got promoted doesn’t know how to manage and can be a bully at times, it may feel this way but after observing I understand the stress he goes through as this a small group I’m with. Though majority of the burden lays on him. I know he can’t show me all the day to day routines and how to process certain things.

    But there are times where the new manager has time to coach but is busy instead dwindling and laughing away at silly stuff on the internet, instead of grooming his staff. When you see an environment where people show they are extremely comfortable where they are it’s time to move immediately. Never be comfortable where you are cause you never know when you might loose that job. This was a key lesson I learn’t from my previous colleague/manager before he left. He took me to the side and said remember never be comfortable where you are. Those were the best words of wisdom anyone has given me. Never stick to a place for too long. At max stay for 5 years and jump ship. There’s nothing wrong in jumping ship when you see things aren’t working out for you. I know I don’t like to be selfish but this is your career and life make sure not to live in a ditch and know that you come first.

    If people around you aren’t providing positive energy it’s time to move on because you’ll always remain miserable. But make sure you evaluate your self to make sure it’s not you. Because if you haven’t picked up on skills that you need then it might be time to hit the books and acquire those skills before jumping ship.

    Yes, there are jobs people get they enjoy. Maybe you’re not in the industry you like, therefore the tasks at hand makes it difficult to enjoy. But if that’s the case I recommend doing something you do enjoy while you do your day to day job. Once your side job takes off you can pursue it as a full time. There will always be something or some individuals you won’t get along with. But the reality is you shouldn’t be miserable. Remember this is your world you’re in control of the outcome and the choices you make are the ones you will live with in the end. I hope this helps.

    I do have a article you should check out from my blog. I hope it helps guide you. Please feel free to ask questions :).
    https://seekinglifeandadventure.blogspot.com/2017/01/discipline-consistency-and-mastery-of.html

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