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May 23, 2014 at 8:12 am #56947LiveSimpleParticipant
I wrote a post on here a few short weeks ago, saying how I had developed feelings for a friend and I wasn’t sure how I should go about telling him. Well, it turns out that the feelings are reciprocated-which I sort of expected.
Let me start by saying that he is a great guy. He is kind, understanding, gentle, honest-and would do anything for me. He is communicative and open. He is reassuring.He is patient. He understands me and I understand him. These are important traits that I look for in a relationship..and well, I’ve never met a guy who was like this.
In past relationships, I’ve always played the chase. I’ve dated guys who were emotionally unavailable and I have been in love with guys who were emotionally unavailable, which only lead to getting hurt. I know that he wants to start a relationship but I’m not used to the way he treats me, because he actually treats me well! I’m frustrated with myself because I don’t want to play games and I am confused why I feel the way that I do. I enjoy spending time with him and being close to him, but there’s still a part of me that feels completely shut down.
All of the men that have ever been in my life have hurt me-starting as a child, with my father. I’m afraid of completely letting my guard down again and letting someone in. I also don’t like opening up to others because it creates an uncomfortable feeling.
I guess, my question then is, is what I’m feeling normal? I am aware that I have to work on this, but I’m just not sure how.
May 23, 2014 at 9:44 pm #57200katieParticipantHi there!
It sounds like the new love interest is a great guy! I have been in the same situation myself (down to my dad not being the best at fatherhood). A year ago, after a string of relationships with “bad boys”, I started dating a guy who was the opposite of that– extremely straightforward, gentle, sweet, and warm. It lasted a year and taught me so much. I often found myself getting a little frustrated simply because he did treat me so well– I just wasn’t used to it, and had learned to equate drama with passion and turmoil with excitement. It was definitely an adjustment for me, and I often felt vulnerable with him, especially in the beginning. But with his patience and understanding, he very naturally guided me through the process of expressing myself. I think that I was more comfortable around him than I have ever been around a significant other. Although the relationship ended after a year due to my moving away, I learned so much from what I experienced with him. I hope that you allow this new person into your heart a little bit. If he really is as gentle and understanding as you perceive him to be, it could change the whole landscape of how you handle relationships and view any future partners who may follow him.
Best of luck and love energy your way! -
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