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Confused about my boyfriend

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • October 3, 2016 at 1:01 pm #117059
    Shelly
    Participant

    Hello everyone,

    I would really appreciate any advice or input from anyone who may be able to help.

    Backstory:

    I personally am a very anxious person and tend to let my worries and anxieties get the best of me. This makes it tough to tell if something is actually wrong or if it is just in my head.

    I wanted to share my issue and hear your thoughts

    The story:

    I have been really worried lately about my relationship the past month or so.

    My BF just wrote his LSATS and of course when he was studying he was busy day and night. He takes studying super seriously which I admire. That did not bother me at all. He would study probably 6-7 hours a day and turned off his phone. And we barely got to hang out which of course I understood because studying is most important.

    He finished the test a week ago and we haven’t really been speaking as much as we did before.

    I always text him but he responds very slowly and it is just making me nervous.

    We have been together for 8 months and so far everything has been amazing.

    I am thinking he may be anxious because he is waiting for his results and maybe doesn’t want to talk because he is just feeling anxious but I don’t know.

    Any input would really be appreciated.

    Thank you so much.

    October 3, 2016 at 1:08 pm #117061
    Nina Sakura
    Participant

    Give him some down time, not only is he anxious about results but also mentally exhausted after exams. Guys come round once their “me time” quota has been satisfied – it’s got nothing to do with you or the relationship, it’s just a basic space need which guys crave after a stressful, tiring event – zone out with video games, meet their guy friends for a quick game or watch their match, drink beer – your boyfriend needs some space to rejuvenate, I am sure he will contact you soon, be supportive and positive, everything will be fine.

    October 3, 2016 at 1:12 pm #117063
    Shelly
    Participant

    Thank you Nina,

    After reading your message I already feel a lot better.

    Exactly why it is always nice to get a new input in.

    I am just conflicted if I keep checking in it will annoy him you know.

    October 3, 2016 at 1:26 pm #117073
    Nina Sakura
    Participant

    To be honest, from one girl to another,my suggestion is to drop him a message along the lines of “I wanted to let you know I am here for you whenever you need me, take all the time you need to relax after exams and give me a call once you feel refreshed, I know you will rock the LSATs, you worked so hard and I am real proud of you. I love you and miss you”

    Do not pester him with Hi, how are you messages to nudge him to talk because you feel anxious. Let him miss you a bit and also have him know you are ready to give him his space and have a positive orientation towards things.

    Do your bit and go chill with your girlfriend’s, watch a movie, go shop.

    He will be back and happier still that he can rely on you to be calm and supportive in these moments. He sounds like a dedicated chap and you are a devoted, sensible girl. It will all be alright soon.

    October 3, 2016 at 1:54 pm #117081
    Shelly
    Participant

    That’s really good advice thank you. It is just weird because I don’t know if that is the reason that is just my guess

    October 3, 2016 at 2:04 pm #117083
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear shelly123friend:

    I don’t know why he is slow to respond and neither do you. Considering certain explanations to his distance feel better than considering other explanations. Best strategy, I believe, is to seek and receive the true explanation. So ask him simply and directly: why have you been distant in the last week?

    anita

    October 3, 2016 at 2:07 pm #117084
    Nina Sakura
    Participant

    Its a suggestion simply and the actual response is up to you. However trust your partner and regulate your impulsive response despite the anxiety you feel. The above is the response that has worked well in my current long distance relationship, perhaps your appropriate one can be tweaked according to the equation you guys share 🙂

    October 3, 2016 at 2:10 pm #117085
    Shelly
    Participant

    Thank you very much Nina and Anita,

    You were both really helpful and your advice is very much appreciated.

    October 3, 2016 at 2:19 pm #117086
    Nina Sakura
    Participant

    Shelly, I hope things are fine for you soon, good luck!

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