confused and hopeless

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    I’ve been seeking for a job for the past 10 months now and im getting reallly demoralised. ive been screwing up interviews and feeling soooo foolish and guilty about it. I cant seem to forgive myself for making mistakes. the worst part is I really dont know what I want. I just keep thinking that I cant get anything I want so I’ll just settle myself with anything thats offered to me. really need some boost of confidence and hope right now. I always thought that if its meant to be it will be. perhaps I just haven’t find the right one? perhaps I just have to wait a little longer? but this waiting is too long and painful. ill be delighted to hear some advice or words of encouragement from anyone. thank you for reading 🙂


    Hi Waylin,
    The first thing I thought of when I was reading your post were the words from Baz Luhrmann’s “Wear Sunscreen” track. If you’ve not heard of it, I suggest you google the song and read the lyrics whilst listening to it. The lyrics are the narration of an old women’s learnt life lessons which were printed in a newspaper article.
    The words that sprung to my mind with reference to your post are “Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t”. I assure you there will be a lot of people nodding to this quote!

    Staying motivated after 10 months of unemployment is hard and it’s even harder to look interested at an interview when you’re not really that interested in the job.So how about approaching a prospective job with a different perspective.
    * What skills will I learn that I can apply elsewhere in my life? Even bin men have to be organised, time managed and work to a schedule. These are transferable for a job elsewhere in the future.
    * What new people could I meet? Your currently unknown colleague may turn into your best friend, or the love of your life might be working where you’re applying.
    * What opportunities could this open up? A informal chat with the boss about sailing (I took a shot, you may like sailing?!) leads to you being the skipper on his next catch up with friends and where could that lead?

    I hope this helps, stay positive and wear sunscreen :-p

    With love
    Karen x


    Hi Wayliin, as you said, 10months do sound like a long time to keep searching for a job. While I don’t know what place you are in or what kind of job you are searching for, I would like to present some things you can use.
    Have you tried searching in different kinds of places, among different kinds of organizations? May be where you are searching for, the places are full of people but there may be a vacancy in a different place.
    You also can try to review and brush up your resume in a different way ( may be more creative or formal way which might change the way people look at you), you can take help from someone for this.
    I read somewhere that while it is true that things happen if they are meant to be, it is also true that right things happen when we do right things at the right time.
    Contact someone you know who already has a job in a place where you want to apply, gather information about what is expected from your skills in that place, then decide. Do this well before you appear for interview, not on the day before.
    Consider talking to someone else who is now in or who has been in similar situation, you may find some info on where you can still improve.
    And lastly, if it is ok with you, write on a paper about all the mistakes that you think you have committed in the previous interviews or are guilty about, and what would have been the correct way.
    These are few things that helped me when I screwed some interviews in past.
    Good luck.


    Thank you @yogikaren. I googled thr lyrics of the song and it cheered me up a little. I’ll try my best to take the new approach, looking in new perspectives. But I wonder if it’s okay to feel so angry and disappointed with myself. I cant seem to get rid of the blaming and scolding in my mind. I’m not this negative before. It’s worrying because I feel like I might become uncontrollabke and get consumed by this self hatred thing. I wonder how or what or when I can get better and stop my family from worrying abt me. im afraid that this will affect me in a long term as well. What if every setback I encounter turn me into a self loathing monster? can I ever be strong and independent?…


    Thank you @sia1 for your kind advice too. I will try my best to brush up on my skills and resume. I cant believe I never thought of it before because I’m too busy blaming myself. Thank you very much 🙂

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