July 30, 2013 at 11:20 am #39439anuParticipant
Ahem. Hello everyone. I’m new to this forum. I have been troubled a lot lately and found this place where some of the post really touched me so I thought maybe I could share my feelings here and hopefully get some guidance.
Well, my problem is…don’t know how to explain but I’ll try my best. I had been friends with a guy for a really long time like childhood friends but during the course of life we parted ways and then around four years back we met again at a party and completely hit off. Later on added me on FB and we started messaging each other, we both became good friends again but one day he said he liked me. I was quite taken aback since I was only eighteen then and from where I come relationships are not considered…cool. I have a kind of conservative background so keeping that in mind I said no. He kept asking me again but again I said no. After that the messages became less frequent but we still remained friends. Everything was fine but slowly life caught up and we drifted apart. Its almost been two years since we have not spoken to each other. He is still there on my FB but…we don’t talk. I guess he has probably forgotten about me but the problem is I can’t. And lately I have been thinking about him a lot. Its like I keep thinking what if I had said yes then…what would have happened?
I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed I hope I’m not but yeah I would really like to talk to him again and if nothing more be friends again. Also I don’t know but I feel like I need some closure. We drifted apart so suddenly that it just feels like something was left. So I really feel or want to talk to him again.
Here, I need some advice would it be okay if I drop in a message to him? Or should I completely cut him off and tell myself to get over it? Well I have tried but it doesn’t seem to work so…I really don’t know what to do at this point. At one hand I really, really want to talk to him, just see if we are still friends but on the other hand its like no…Truth be told I’m afraid that he might not respond back and if that happens that would be devastating but then again I don’t want to live my thinking what if…I had too many ‘what if’ moments I can’t handle one more. Its a really tricky situation whatever I do feels like I’ll end up hurting. What should I do?
And can I get some male advice on it, like if one your old friends or crushes if you say whom you haven’t interacted in awhile suddenly drops in a line what would be your reaction? Would you be surprised in a bad ,way good way, reply or won’t? What would be your opinion of her?
And…I’m very afraid of the replies I would be getting because I have a feeling most of you would tell me to move on and truth be told I don’t know how.July 30, 2013 at 1:51 pm #39454PeteParticipant
I recently listened to a book on tape that I hope will help you in this situation. The advise is really simple when it comes down to it and makes since but just as in life sometimes it is difficult to go forward with even those things that make since. The five things are: be true to yourself, leave no regrets, become love, live the moment, and give more then you take. The first one, be true to yourself means to follow you heart and go after what you want. The second one leave no regrets was about taking chances because the worst regrets are those regrets that start with “I wish I had” not “I shouldn’t have”. He put this in the perspective of living life as if you knew it was your last day to live. How often have you heard the question, what would you do if you knew you only had 24 hours before the end of the world? What would you want to do and who would you want to spend the time with? Are there things you would want to tell certain people? If you think of things or people then why not make it a priority now? His answer as to why people don’t is because of fear; fear of rejection and fear of failure. But he then argued, what is worse, to be rejected or to regret that you never tried? The fear of rejection and failure is powerful enough to prevent you from going after some of your dreams. I know I’m guilty of this myself and hope someday I can say I have pursued all of my dreams.
BTW the book on tape is “The five Secretes You Must Discover Before You Die” by John Izzo.