My situation is that I have broken up with my boyfriend of 3.5 years in June. The reason essentially came down to religion. He is Muslim and I am Christian. It wasn’t a problem when we were dating because we both come from conservative backgrounds but are open-minded. Actually, our values matched very well, with the exception that I drink and he doesn’t but that was never a source of conflict. However, when we talked about marriage and having a family, we couldn’t reach an agreement. It seemed that what he wanted in a girlfriend and what he wanted in a wife were two different things.
He asked me to convert, and although I was disappointed by this, I did consider it. I decided I could not convert, not because of anything in the religion that I disagreed with, but because it just didn’t draw me or connect with me personally and I didn’t want to ‘fake it’. He said he understood and even respected me for it. But over time it came up again, and it seemed he thought time would wear me down. We even broke up a few times but always got back together quickly because we really do love each other and have a strong relationship. Eventually the stress of breaking up and getting back together started to have it’s toll on me. I even experienced some health issues that I’m sure were related to that stress. Plus we are not young, we are both in our thirties and hope to have children, so this could not go on forever. He decided to do a religious prayer ritual for decision making (Istakhara) and asked a religious elder back home to do it for him. The answer came back that marriage between us would not be a good idea unless I converted. Again I said no, and this time I also told him that I had to move on. He agreed and we did break up.
For the first 2 months of the break up I went through a depression. It was a very low time for me. We did still talk and even saw each other a couple times, but not often and it was definitely a break up. After about 2.5 months I started to pull myself together and be ok again. I enrolled in a class I wanted to take, made plans to do some travelling, and adopted a kitten. I was still sad but I was beginning to see I could still have a good life apart from him. I have started dating someone else and I am enjoying spending time with this new person. I didn’t want to do anything improper in the new relationship so I told my ex we shouldn’t see each other anymore. That’s when everything changed. He said he hadn’t taken the break up seriously, that he didn’t mean to reject me or hurt me but he was just confused about the religion. Now he is saying he is willing to accept (marry) me without converting. Although it’s what I wanted to hear, I felt like it was too late and told him so. I still care about him so much but I’m not in love with him anymore. He promised not to give up on us and has since been showering me with gifts, flowers, love letters, etc. He is agreeing to work through all our differences and compromise on things so we can agree about children and family life.
At first I was so angry that he could come back after all that time, just when I was starting to recover. But it has slowly been sinking in that I really do miss him and besides the religion, we are so compatible in every other way. I feel that my love for him could come back, if I let it. But the question is should I let it? Or would I just be setting myself up for a life of stress and struggle trying to live in 2 religions and please both families? Also, my other question is, if I do love him, why was it so easy for my to find someone else to connect with? Is that a sign that I didn’t/don’t actually love him as much as I think? I’m very confused.
To add to this, his family is insisting now, since he ‘wasted’ so much time on me and it didn’t work, that he should have an arranged marriage asap. I have been very firm that I won’t respond to time pressure from his family in making a decision. However, I feel for him in his position too, as it really is a shame and disrespect in his culture to not follow his family wishes.

I don’t know what to do…