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Coping with loneliness after a break up

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  • #51181
    suma
    Participant

    It was a 6 month long serious relationship that was supposed to turn into an engagement in another 6 months. Out of mood swings I criticized my guy about his past relationship for which even my friend passed a negative comment about me and my guy decided I would never get over his past and called it off. Now I am all alone back to my hostel from his place after he threw all my things out of his rooms, no calls, no messages, no mails. I have no idea where he is now from the past 15 days and got into depression and now under treatment. We had good rapport in everything we did and had great plans for the future and married life with no one to oppose our marriage. Being in the same field of work, it was much easier for the both of us to stay together all the time and share similar interests. All that is left now on my side is the pain of being rejected, pain of being cheated by my friend and the pain of loneliness. Each day seems to be a struggle. everyone is asking me to move on in life but we had planned even the dates to get engaged and married and me being a girl from a different cultural background it is a serious relationship for me, I have lost faith in myself now that he did not respond even once and that I cannot forget him for the rest of my life. I do not socialize much and life seems to be so emoty now. The only hope left is that God will bring him back to me sooner or later. How on earth do I learn to move on even though I love him extremely and never want this relationship to end. Do I have an option? My mental health is going really down and I hate to see myself getting hurt and experience loneliness. He was such a good companion I was comfortable with. How do I and my parents get over this break up? I at least do not want to be depressed if not happy.

    #51257
    Mark
    Participant

    suma,
    I am sorry about your depression. Good for you for getting treatment for it. What is the nature of that treatment?

    I suggest that 6 months is not a long enough time to really to get to know another person to be so deeply in love with them. The first 9 months or so is the honeymoon, stars in your eyes stage of the relationship usually. Love is a verb which goes beyond the goo goo eyes and chemistry. It is like mindfulness. It takes work in good times and in bad. It is caring in the midst of drudgery or pain. That probably does not help you right now.

    You ask, how do you get over this break up. Beyond your treatment with depression, I believe in the power of meditation. I believe in facing our pain by sitting with it really helps. This depression, betrayed love, loneliness all are a part of you. I believe that the process of staying with those things that give us pain helps us through it. Robert Frost said, “The best way out is always through. ”

    I wish you healing and comfort.

    Mark

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