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Crossing the world for (maybe-)love?

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  • #78500

    Hello all,
    I’m at a point where I’d really appreciate your thoughts as I can’t think properly anymore… : )

    Some background information: I’m 24 and live in Germany. Last year in Nov when boarding a tour bus in Africa I met this guy, also from Germany but currently on a round-the-world trip. He approached me and we talked for hours and spent a magic night down at the beach just talking and drinking beer until my plane left early the next morning. I wouldn’t have asked him for his number but he was quite clear that he wanted to stay in touch.
    Well, and so he did… It’s been a good 7 months since then and he’s been sending me post cards, texting me, we’ve even been skyping for hours and he keeps saying he needs to see me again. Needless to say I feel the same.

    So now here I am with two weeks of holidays in 8 weeks’ time. (I’ve had some time off before but felt it was way too early to cross the world to see him). This time I’m thinking about going to see him though and this is where my problem begins.

    When I actually let him know that I’d be willing to come and see him, I probably hoped for him being all “wow, I can’t believe this”. He did say he was happy to read that but the first feeling I had when reading his response was a kind of dissappointment. Might be totally over the top, I don’t know.
    I told some of my dear friends and they were like “why can’t he fly to see you, why does it have to be you” or “it’s absolutely crazy to cross the world for s.o. you’ve only seen for one day/night”

    Normally I’m a strong believer of “better try & fail than never try at all” and I think you meet people for a reason but I’m beginning to feel doubts – maybe he’s one of those people who talks all day but with nothing to it, maybe I’m too naive and my gut feeling is right after all, maybe I should just go diving for those two weeks (my own passion), maybe….

    So sorry for the long post, just need to decide what I’m going to do within the next two weeks and to be honest, it’s just all too much for me at the moment… really appreciate you thoughts, thanks so so much! : )

    #78509
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear exploredreamdiscover:
    You can suggest to him that the two of you share the cost of your plane ticket, that he wires you his share of the ticket so that the risk is taken by both of you. This suggestion to him, his verbal resonse to it AND whether or not he follows with wiring the money will give you much of the evidence you need…
    anita

    #78518
    Aurora Borealis
    Participant

    If you have a lot of money, and the place he is at right now is one of your places on your to-go list, then go for it.

    I just don’t want you to be disappointed and end up spending lotsa money in a place with a man who didn’t live up to your expectations, and in a place that you aren’t interested in.

    If he is from Germany, then eventually he will have to come back right? and you two can meet again.

    I don’t know this guy but how is he like? What are his plans after this year long trip?

    #78554

    Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!
    I’d say money’s not the problem as I was quite lucky to save a lot and the place I’d go to see him is also of interest to me… I think it’s just my fear of being dissappointed as his reaction wasn’t the one I had hoped for.
    You’re right – he’ll come back eventually, however, probably not before some time next year, amongst other things he’s still got 8 months in the US on his list. He’s so similar to me – always new ideas, new plans, new fascinations… that’s what scares me in this case… 😉

    #78561
    Aurora Borealis
    Participant

    Well, if you really wanna go, make it part of your trip. Have backup plans. Meet people on CS too and hang out with them so he won’t be 100% of that area that you are visiting. Whatever happens, one day, you will look back and go “ahhhh i did that huh” 🙂

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