I have quite horrendous anger and separation anxiety. Is it possible that my father ditching my mother and I when I was 2 could cause this? I have been an extremely angry person for the last 6 years or so and was able to link as a secondary emotion hiding the fact my self-esteem is not the highest and I hide behind a facade of a false ego and whenever my ego is hit in anyway, I lash out.

My now ex-girlfriend had our child 4 months ago and I lost my cool and ended up kicking them both out and binged on substances. I am wondering if the ego is the issue and if I should try to resolve the issues of the sperm donor ditching my mother and I. My adopted father is great, he’s always made sure I had what I needed and owns a business. He has raised me since I was 4 and see me as his own. But I still have a void I can’t seem to fill.

Meh, all my drug and anger issues have met at a crossroad. I have two options, either to save myself or keep digging toward a lower rock bottom than I currently am at. I don’t do well with therapy but I do very good using self help books so if you have recommendations, I’d appreciate it. And maybe some conformation bias to meeting the sperm donor. I am being medicated currently and the doctors want to up the dose but I really, really don’t want to numb the pain. Ever since I began mapping what my anger his and all my horrible past memories, it seems my ego is the biggest culprit.

I don’t want to take much more medicine to control the anger, anxiety, and depression. I just want to solve the root issues so I can change the course of my life. Apologize for the ramble, feeling pretty pessimistic.