Dear Violet:

My advice is for you to get to know this younger man (not physically) while at the same time you get to know any other man (not physically) you are interested in getting to know. It is best to get to know a man before you get emotionally and physically involved with him. That way you don’t have emotions standing in your way of seeing clearly and objectively who the man is. Before committing to any particular man you don’t adequately know yet, get to know one, two, three, as many as you can fit in your schedule without being overwhelmed. Over time make selections, along the way, eventually committing to a relationship with one man who is most likely to be a wise choice for you.

What do you think?

anita

Dear Violet:

Tips about keeping the physical at bay: meet men in a public place, like a coffee shop, get there in your car and meet them there. Don’t go to his place after the date and don’t have him go to your place. Use the date to get to know him, by asking questions, answering his questions (not interrogation style).

Tell the man on the first date (or before meeting) that you want to get to know him before you consider getting physically intimate. Give him a time line: two months with an extension option. If he puts pressure on you before the two months are over, remind him of the date. If he persists, stop dating him. IF he pressures you after the two months, tell him you will not be pressured. If he continues, stop dating him.

Date as many men as possible this way so that you have a chance that someone will survive the process, and that someone would be a man worthy of your time, your love, your life.

anita