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Dating a Partner with depression

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  • This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 9 years ago by Anonymous.
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  • #88824
    Anthsy
    Participant

    I broke things off with my partner yesterday largely because they were going through waves of depression for the last year, and I found myself getting lost in the depression and feeling trapped. I wanted to be there for them as much as possible but I am young and it was taking a toll on my. I deeply regret the decision I made and I did call them and ask to have a conversation about it in person. I left because I needed to find myself again and for them to get better in hopes that we would get back together, but they did not realize that I wanted to get back together. I guess that I want to know is if anyone has ever experienced something like this, and if so, how did they make it work? We both love each other dearly, and we both had a very rough time coping with this.

    #88826
    Anthsy
    Participant

    I should also mention that I felt incredibly guilty ending things, but I felt that I had to. Now I wish I could undo the damage that I caused.
    The depression is important to note because I always needed more affection than they could give me, and I was beginning to feel unloved and like they did not want me around.

    #88832
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Antshsy:

    You probably mean “he” when talking about your partner, right?

    It is okay to end a relationship with a partner who is depressed and has been depressed for a long time, definitely (!) before you commit as in marriage. It is okay to choose your well being. Your responsibility is to take care of yourself, not to take care of him. Plus you were not able to cure him so far and are not likely to be able to do that, so you are most likely to end up, if you are together with him, with two sick people instead of one: him and you.

    You are not a saint, you are a human being. You need your partner to promote your well being, not to take it away from you!

    anita

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