Hello all,

I am a 20 something male, and have recently gotten involved in a relationship with an older girl. Regardless of age, the time we have spent together has been amazing, and it has made me so happy. I have never felt this way, or experienced such a relationship. We met on a trip abroad, and after being together just as friends for a week, it was almost as if my soul was yearning for her presence after coming back home.

We talked a lot for a few weeks, till I asked her out, and we eventually got into a physical relationship about 2-3 weeks before I had to leave overseas for a month and half. She is also travelling for the next month, and we have been talking and calling. It’s nice, and I am fairly happy. I find myself reminiscing on the times we shared before leaving each other, and I have been getting the similar feeling of my soul and heart aching for her presence. It’s very interesting and deep.

On the surface, it may not seem like a big deal, but exactly a year ago I was involved in a similar (maybe a little shallower) relationship where we found each other away from each other for 4 whole months. I had all these expectations in my head how we would be together after the summer, and it ended up being the exact opposite. It disappointed me, and my depression and anxiety escalated again. Regardless, we tried things out together a little differently than I thought they would pan out, but she was very unattached whereas I was very attached so it didn’t work out.

This new situation is a little similar yet very different. I suppose I am afraid that what happened last year will repeat itself, so I doubt the whole thing. I have been meditating every day, as I always do, and have been trying my best to change my thinking and live in the moment, all the while talking to her and such. I am truly one to listen to my body, and I am trying my best to trust myself and love myself for what is to come without having high expectations.

How do I maintain this to keep myself happy? How do I refrain from these high expectations and avoid disappointment?

Thank you, and with love and peace always from me to you.