Dear Chanel:

If you want more than what you already heard: “what they say. Exercise, be around people, eat healthy” do share when your depression started, in what circumstances…Were you a sad, lonely child?

anita

Dear Chanel:

When you were so young and been made fun of, being told you were “fat and ugly” – these words hurt a whole lot. The words with the hurt became part of your brain. So as you go about your life ever since, those words- with the hurt, with the pain, are being replayed again and again:

When you look in the mirror, when you go shopping for clothes, when you see thin-and-pretty women in real life, or on TV, when you are around people, you often imagine they are thinking these words.

So on and on you hear those words and feel that pain- this is depressing.

On and off- sometimes you forget; sometimes you get a break, you feel better. But then, here are the words, here is the pain. Again.

If you are interested to weaken those words, to lower the volume, to reject them, it is possible. It takes time. Sure, there is more to your depression, but what I wrote here, although simplified, can still be useful. What do you think?

anita

Dear Chanel:

This is a worthy cause to attend competent therapy- to weaken and replace those words.

But here, on your thread, we can look more into it, if you’d like. “I am fat and ugly” is what is called, a “core belief”- unfortunately. It is something you believe and have believed for a long time. You were told it and you believe it. This belief is causing you much distress and depression, understandably.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) examines core beliefs for accuracy- challenges core beliefs. It is not easy to change a core belief but it is possible.

This is not an easy subject, painful, for you. This is why best to attend competent psychotherapy with an empathetic therapist you learn to trust and feel comfortable with before you do this kind of exercise:

List evidence in support of “I am fat and ugly”
List evidence against this belief.

I am not a therapist, not a professional of any kind. I attended CBT myself and found it very helpful. If you want to proceed with the Listing exercise above, here, please do. I will soon go to bed and be back in about 10 hours or so. If you reply, we can continue this communication.

anita

Dear Chanel,

Do continue with your Friday’s appointment and if you want to recover from depression or if you are looking for some practical techniques to do by yourself then I will suggest you to take a look at ‘The Healing Codes’.

Dr. Alex Loyd developed a technique after his wife Tracey “Hope” Loyd had severe depression for several years and couldn’t find anything to cure it.

She speaks in this video..
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFL6I3WlmWs)

The full details of the technique is available in The Healing Codes book-
(https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Code-Minutes-Success-Relationship/dp/1455502006)

The book has everything you need but if you do not have the time and patience to wait till you finish the book (because, apart from the actual technique the book also explains the how/why of everything) and if have the required financial capabilities then you can also consider Personal Coaching on this process, which is done by a Certified Healing Codes Practitioner. You will get all of that information from their official website (below). Read out the number of positive reviews on the Amazon link above to know how it is helping people.

Official Website:
www(dot)thehealingcodes(dot)com

Moreover, the same technique can also be used for the issues you wrote above – social anxiety, Low self esteem, past unpleasant memories.

————————————————————————————————

Below is something faster for social anxiety and ‘I’m still not over him’ feelings

Bach Flower Remedies are known to work faster on negative emotional states of mind. I suggest you to do a web search on ‘Bach Flower Remedies’ to know full details on what they are. If it interests you then among the several flower remedies below are the ones for your situation.

Honeysuckle – for people living in the past (for ‘I’m still not over him’ feelings)
(http://www.bachcentre.com/centre/38/honeysuc.htm)
(http://www.bachflower.org/honeysuckle.htm)

Mimulus – social anxiety (Mimulus is a very effective remedy for fear of social situations, speaking in public etc. Try this and see the courage you get)
(http://www.bachcentre.com/centre/38/mimulus.htm)
(http://www.bachflower.org/mimulus.htm)
(http://mudraguide.com/bach-flower-remedies-mimulus-and-nervousness.html)
(http://www.bach-flowers.co.uk/remedies/bach_mimulus.asp)

Larch – for low-self esteem and self confidence issues, for inferiority complexes caused due to being called fat and ugly
(http://www.bachcentre.com/centre/38/larch.htm)
(http://mudraguide.com/bach-flower-remedies-larch-and-an-inferiority-complex.html)
(http://www.bachflower.org/larch.htm)

Please patiently go through each of these and if you feel they resonate with your situation then you can take the flower essences. They can be combined and taken and not necessarily taken separately.

They are available here-
The ones that you need to take are the ones with the name of that remedy (Honeysuckle, Mimulus, Larch) written on the bottle.

For example this is for Mimulus:
– (https://www.amazon.com/Bach-Original-Flower-Essences-Mimulus/dp/B00016QT5S)

or any of the other websites
– (http://www.directlyfromnature.com/The_Original_Bach_Flower_Remedies_Information_and_Sale_s/1818.htm)
– (https://www.luckyvitamin.com/m-309-bach-original-flower-remedies)
– (http://www.vitacost.com/bach-flower-remedies-1)
– (https://www.evitamins.com/bach-flower-remedies)

Take care of yourself,
VJ