Dear sandra2012:

I am so sorry your parents don’t care about you. Not that I am surprised, as many parents don’t. This is a cruel reality, mind boggling, really.

You were abused as a child by a pedophile. You agreed to stand up in court and speak about the abuse. Your parents punished you for doing that by cutting you off.

When your parents punished you for agreeing to testify in court, what they did was that they punished you for being abused as a child by a pedophile. So you had the misfortune of being abused and to top that, your parents punish you for having that misfortune.

As children we need our parents acceptance, loving acceptance, so to get out into the world accepting ourselves and acting for our benefit, our well being. You didn’t have such parents, that is why you wrote that you are not sure how much self acceptance you had before they cut you off.

Their punishing you, the victim, and in so doing protecting the abuser, the victimizer is not something out of the ordinary for them, is it? Such an act is not taken by people who were decent before this.

The “bright side” of this: if they didn’t cut you off, if they undo their decision and you are still in contact with them, you will be waiting your whole adult life for any semblance of acceptance by them. If you stay away from them, then you have a chance to earn that self acceptance you need.

Them cutting you off is a good thing. I mean, if you had good parents who cut you off, that would be a bad thing. But bad parents cutting you off, well, that is a good thing.

Do you know people who will comfort you now, in person? People who support the victim, not the one doing the victimizing?

anita