Dear Sofioula:
Your ex (the one who let you go back home sick and feverish by yourself, taking 3 buses and walking a lot?) got his PhD in what subject?
“I’m trying each day to find courage and make choices without the fear of mistakes”-
– Here is my suggestion: make a list of big mistakes you have done so far in life. It will be easier for you to avoid big mistakes, than it is be to avoid any and all mistakes (small, big and in between), therefore identifying big mistakes and focusing on avoiding those is a good beginning.
You can share that list of big mistakes here, if you want.
anita