Sri,

I’m sorry for the agitation you’re experiencing, I know how difficult it can be when the mind turns inward on itself. Sakyong Mipham says in his book Turning the Mind into an Ally that sometimes when people begin meditating, they realize how unkempt their mind is. They say “Meditation is driving me crazy, my mind was not like this before!” He says that when we learn to look deeply at our mind, we begin to see how messy it was. It was messy the whole time, its just that now we’re seeing it as is!

To help with the basic agitation, consider supplementing your meditation with metta practice. When we put mental energy behind wishing for the well being of others, the mind becomes smooth, peaceful. YouTube has many guided metta meditations. For now, you may even benefit from pausing on other types of meditation and shift your focus into metta practice for a few weeks. Namaste.

Ajahn Brahm has a guided metta meditation that is about 30 mins long on YouTube. Even once a day for a few weeks could really provide relief from agitation.

With warmth,
Matt

I have this problem sometimes and I usually try to find a few specific memories from my past that always lift my mood or make me feel better about myself. This can either be a really great experience, a satisfying achievement, or anything that really makes me feel worth something. I can usually recognize when I’m about to lose it and go into one of “those” moods so I take a moment and use my memory to change the mood before it comes on. I hope this helps!