Dear blancarocio:

i do hope you choose to get an abortion. It seems to me it would be by far the best decision you can make in these circumstances, not only for your own good but for the good of the child that will not be brought into this unfortunate circumstances. The chances will be stacked against this child with an unreliable, strict-crazy father and a struggling single mother.

the fact that your ex husband has been way more strict with you, religiously, than with others means to me that he is more forceful with those he perceives weaker than him, you, that is, and if you give birth to this child- well, he will be most forceful with this child who he will be extremely weak and dependent on him emotionally. He will treat this child as his property to do as he please and to make up for his failures in his relationship with you and with others.

Will you be able to carry the guilt of bringing an innocent child into suffering? The people who will be telling you that it is “the right thing” to give birth to this child, that it is.. the wrong thing to get an abortion, will not be there for the child who will be struggling- unsuccessfully- against a strict father who can’t wait to have power over a defenseless child.

Do what is right for this unborn child. Have mercy on him- or her.

To avoid problems, I think it may be wise to get an abortion and tell others it was a miscarriage. (second best after the better idea- to not have told the ex you are pregnant to begin with).

Best to you-

anita

Hello,

I am sorry that things are so hard right now. A month ago, I made a choice too though my reasons were different – I did have a supportive bf but i am just 23, in our society its taboo out of wedlock and i had no plans of marriage until the next 4-5 years atleast. Some people may disagree with my decision. Sometimes i wonder too about what would happen if i did otherwise. All i know is that I just didnt want to bring a child into this world without being in a position to raise it to my fullest capacity. I wanted my kid to grow up in a happy home with a father, grandparents and the whole family experience. I didnt want them to feel like an outcast ever. I wanted them to have a mom who was really right in the head and had her shit together. Right now, i am not there yet.

One of my best friends has had strong catholic influences since she was a child and she told me that the rights of the mother matter too. Its crueler to bring a child in a world and you cant raise them in a loving, hospitable environment.

In the end though, the whole point is, it is really up to you. As the mother, you have the final say about whether you want to keep it or not. Whatever you do, please do it quickly.

Regards,
Moon

Sorry you are going through this, it sounds like the pregnancy has come at a difficult time. Although time is of the essence, I do think you need to take the time to consider all the options before making a decision. Are you able to see a counsellor to talk things through? Sometimes it helps to discuss things with someone neutral, not to take advice, but as a way of looking at your own feelings more closely. There are a lot of resources online which can help too, though not all are neutral, unfortunately the issue is so politicised. When you are feeling vulnerable it is easy to be swayed one way or the other by the opinions of others and I would ask yourself what you want to do in your heart of hearts. Some women do regret making this choice, even many years later, (a close friend of mine 32 years later still wishes she could turn the clock back). So you need to be 100% certain it is what you want to do. Wishing you well whatever the outcome is.

Hate to mention this but you were intimate with your ex-husband a few weeks before the divorce ??

Anyway, done is done !

I agree with most above – think of the child and YOUR own future.

People preach religion easily to others but it is very difficult to raise a child as a single mother – it will change your world permanently – that is the hard reality of life.

GOD bless !!