We have been married for around 20 months now. It was a love marriage but we dated for only 3 months when we got engaged followed by a soon wedding. From the time we got engaged, I had a feeling something is not right between us but things went on the way it was meant to be and we got married. In initial days of our marriage, it was all good and I thought that it were my insecurities only and he both love each other and other diffrences can be adjusted if we both are willing. But this feeling didn’t last long and soon I started feeling those fears again.
Because it seemed like he is not being sincere in our marriage. It seemed like for him being married is only fulfilling domestic needs and a social status and there is no love and companionship between us. So I couldnt trust him Because i always wanted to find out that why he appears to be happy with other people and not with me.

I was going in self guilt that May be I’m not doing enough in the relationship that’s why he’s been falling out if love. Because he constantly warned me that you are being too nagging, stop doubting on my loyalty otherwise I would definitely start an affair with someone. And I couldnt even imagine happening that. So for my own peace of mind, I thought to believe him whatever he says and consider him all honest and loyal and stop searching for the clues. Because every time I go search for a clue, I find something legitimate to get angry on but he simply deny it and proves me wrong and sometimes even without answering about the thing he has been found guilty, he would accuse me of why I went on to find for such clues at first place and our argument turned into this and he proves I’m the one who is creating disharmony in the relationship by doing all this. So, I simply stopped doing this. Its like closed my eyes, closed my ears. Whatever is shown to me Is right and wise until this day when somebody else came and told me about his cheating on me.

When I further analysed what the other person told me, I got all the physical proves that he has Been cheating on me. Right from our when we were dating, during our courtship period till that day.

Then also, he couldnt deny ṭhat he has been in touch with her. He couldnt deny he had been making plans to meet her and getting physical Because I had proofs of thier conversation. He still continued to tell me but they didn’t meet and he was not involved with her physically or emotionally. It was just spur of the momement that they talked like that and otherwise its just a friendship.

Since he didn’t accept his guilt , I moved out of his house. I came to my parents house. His parents tried a lot to bring me back but his attitude never suggested that.
Its not that I finished our relation in my head. I just wanted him to take the responsibility of his doings and realise, he is wrong and he should make for it and try to make our relation work with a new start. But that effort never came from his side.

I bring back all my stuff from his house and when i went there, he was not present there. Probably he dint want to face me, why? I have no clue.

Even then , after some time
I try to talk to him ṭo know what is there on his mind, to know wether he loves me or not. Wether I failed to understand him or he was pushing me away and I was too blind in his love to get those signs.
What went wrong Because I still want to work on our marriage but he doesn’t even respond to my messages.
My family has sent him draft divorce Petetion because this seems right since he hasn’t tried to make things work but I’m in still hope that we can make it but he has just closed his doors. I want closure what is there on his mind.
Somebody please help me how do I know what does he want, he never loved me or he fell out of love.