well for starters let me introduce myself

i am a 25 year male from chicago. have not been in the right space mentally in the last few years. i just feel that there is something amiss.

I am a heavy smoker and started to even drink unnecessarily which i know is quite messed up.

Ever since i finished high school i have always wanted to have a meaningful relationship with somebody but unfortunately that never happened and very recently when i met someone it felt so right but due to some strange reason it did not work out and ever since then i have felt very upset with myself. Long story short i feel the need to that special one in my life. P:S not like i dont have friends and family i do but i want somebody on the emotional level.

2) I have been leading a very unhealthy lifestyle which i want to change but i get very overwhelmed with the thought of the change. i plan on quitting smoking and maybe taking a break from alcohol. which i tried but eventually 2-3 days into it , i started to very deprived and did not feel right. Hence i got back to it. Also, i am really fond of working out(gym) but as i am not in the right space mentally and due to these habits of mine ive been so off its not even funny and very shameful.

3) You know when you have a gut feeling about something and thats the feeling i get towards my work. i know i can do wonders in my field of business but it would require my 500% unfortunately ive been not doing so leading to bad decisions and consequences. the focus is not a 100% because i dont feel in the right space cause of the above situation.

i need to turn things around but dont know how and what the hell should i do.

the change is quite over whelming no smoking,drinking eating healthy focusing at work like alot happening at the same time but i feel it is essential to do all in order to get things done.

anyways or guidance will be much appreciated.

thank you