dear annema,

I have read your story and your interaction with Anita. Wonderful. Not your story, but your determination to find yourself in it. I completely understand you have your focus on him totally, but, my lovely friend.. I have to tell you, it is not about him, and not even about your children. It’s very funny, because just today, this one sentence just popped up in my head: when you know what you deserve, anything that does not match that, can and will not be a part of your experience. So, this guy, is showing you exactly, where you do not see and value yourself. Every little feeling you feel.. has already been with you for a long time, he just came to remind you of it. In a way, he’s a huge help. It’s not easy to feel all those feelings and allow them to talk to you, but I guarantee you, freedom is on the other side. in the mean time, Anita’s advice is golden, treat yourself well, do whatever you can think of to feel good about you and keep doing it. much love to you.

hi there, I understand.. I don’t know if you are into astrology at all, but let me say this: there’s a lot going on in the sky, plus there’s a full moon. I’m not sure if you should at this point chew on the why’s too much, because it sounds like you are emotionally challenged continuously.. but, in this case, just ask yourself what you deserve. how do you want to be treated? this is a very easy question to answer because every good and loving quality you can find in yourself is for someone to match, and no less. I hope this will empower you in this situation. But, there is a lot going on.

Usually what happens in (romantic) relationships is, they help you transform things from previous relationships, which usually has its roots in your own mom/dad dynamics. f.i. if you experienced fear of an abusive parent, but could never speak up for yourself – which is normal, because they are your parent, and you are loyal to playing your part -. What happens is, your body parks feelings like anger, unfairness and disappointment, but they do need to be expressed, it’s natural. Then you meet someone and they will touch on these feelings without knowing or wanting to do so… so the story repeats itself to transform. In your case, you could ask yourself, what does the disappointment relate to, or the putting up with something that doesn’t feel right? Start with big questions. I think, from reading your answers, your gut feeling works fine, but somehow it’s not easy to choose you over him.. and that’s a shame, no one is more important than you. Do you take massages? If not, get them, it’s a wonderful way to disconnect, and let your nervous system balance out, it will calm your mind and maybe give you some answers as well..

Dear annema:

You wrote: “After my ex received my list,” what list?

Your father said that your ex is “struggling to grasp the issues”- if this is so, this is not good news to you. It is not a good thing that he is struggling to understand what it means to follow through with what he says.

He messaged you that “I hope you understand leaving a job has to be done the right way”- the way I read it, he means it is going to take time to … follow through, more delays.

Personally, I am not hopeful.

anita