Apologies for the length, I need to get this off my chest.

April last year my family and I had found out that my dad was having an affair and he moved out. Following this whilst I cut contact with my father and concentrated on my mother and her wellbeing as I still live at home. My older brother (33 years old) moved back home to help my mother out finanicially also. During the 8 months that have followed the atmosphere in our home has become very negative. My mother, obviously going through what had happened would talk about my father everyday, belittling him, complaining, projecting – I would listen and agree as at the time I was still upset with him and wanted to be there for her. Whilst my father moved out my brother has taken on a lot of the finiacal burden (and possibly having to take over the mortgage pretty soon) as my mother is 60 soon and does not want to work or isn’t willing to enterain the idea. My brothers moods over the course of these 8 months has changed as you can imagine, he’s irritable, passive aggressive and has been physically abusive toward myself and my other brother when he looses his temper during an argument (throwing me around and trying to physically fight with my other brother).

Now this month here’s were things change. My father has repeatedly come over to the house while I have been there to discuss and sort out fincinal matters. During these times my mother refuses to communicate with him about the mortgage and reverts to black mail if he doesn’t contuine paying it. She will avoid discussing it at all costs and changes the subject. The last time my father came over my brother and mother went out of the house and I was able to discuss with him just us two how I felt about his affair. He listened and apologised and I was finally able to forgive him and let go. As he does not live here anymore my stance on our relationship now is I would like to spend time with him and be civil as in my eyes we have no issues between one and other anymore. Unfortuntaely my mother does not like this and wants me to pick a side which I’m not going to do as I have no issues with her or him. She’s making things very difficult at the moment and has even told my brother that I am ok with my father now to which he threatened to kick me out of the home once he takes the mortgage over from my father – all because I refuse to pick a side?!

Recently I have begun to see the light, I can see how on a daily basis my mother manipulates my brother in order to keep him on her side in this “battle” against her and my father and tries to control everyone around her. Following the argument with my brother last night I made a conscious decision to cut him out of my life as I do not attack him verbally or physically and he feels it’s okay to constantly do so to me, intimidate me and threaten with throwing me out. He’s blocked online but it’s difficult as we still live at home together. I’m working at the moment and saving to move out but it’s going to take 6 more months until I can move. During this time I’m working at distancing myself from my mother also to maintain my mental wellbeing as I cannot trust her anymore and see how manipulative she is being. It makes me feel sick that she has to reverted to this sort of behaviour. Im writing as I’m feeling isolated at home at the minute and if there is anyone on here who has gone or going through a similar situation communicate with me how they deal/dealt with it please.