I hear you. Healing takes time. And very little in the way of words can console you when you’re so down and hopeless.

I can relate to the feeling of hopelessness, as I am 3 months pregnant and feeling just as bottomed out. My boyfriend ran shortly after finding out, I had to leave my job in Los Angeles, move home to Massachusetts so I could be around family… I’ve been here for a month and I’m still unemployed, depressed and feeling like an unwanted failure. To make matters worse my family and I aren’t getting along great either. I’ve been a huge bummer for the friends that I do have around here, and I feel like I just can’t get over what has happened over the past few months. The life I knew is gone. I long for the love of the person I was with, but I feel like I don’t know him anymore. I long for the love of an imaginary person! He doesn’t exist.

What I have found is that I have needed time to mourn. Don’t beat yourself up about what happened. The series of events was not in your control. Not only that, it’s in the past now. Yes, the present is a stark reminder of all that happened, but in time, and once gaining control of your outlook… things will be better.

It’s not that your life, or my life, has gone, it’s just that it’s changed drastically. You are a good person, and you didn’t deserve what happened to you. If karmic energy exists, and oh my goodness I want to believe it does, the person who mistreated you will receive the fate he deserves.

Right now, all you have to do, is take care of yourself. And once you’ve mourned enough, recognize that you control how you react to the things that happened. If you want it to overcome you with grief and hopelessness, it will. When the thoughts rise in your mind blaming yourself or your anxiety or feeling stupid, as they do for me so many times throughout the day – recognize them. But do not feed them. Let them leave. The minute you realize these thoughts enter, see them, then take 3 deep breaths with eyes closed and do what you can during this time to clear your mind. Then open your eyes and move on with your day.

I suffered from anxiety for years. With the pregnancy, it seems to all have transformed into depression. But I understand what you’re going through. Let your the fears the voice in your head proclaims to you just be that – a voice. Let it talk and then let it fade. If you can’t avoid your father and he is unsympathetic to hearing you need space and respect, try to accept the fact that his words are just that. Words. Someone can’t make you feel bad unless you let them. I know more than anyone right now, with hormones flowing, that all of this is easier said than done… not reacting to the external and the internal.

Regarding a job/livelihood, make a list or schedule of the things you need to do to/or places to look to get a job, and get things back on track. Even little things should count as an accomplishment. Be gentle with yourself. Be your own best friend. You’ve been through hell and back… emphasis on back. Life has no meaning until you make it. And it would have no meaning if we didn’t have struggles to inevitably make us stronger.

I’m still working on my issues… And *at least* once I day I’m lost in tears about what will happen with my life and the baby. I was a successful doctor one minute, now I’m single, pregnant, jobless, depressed and living with my parents… and feeling really sorry for myself.

It’s only up from here, Love. We deserve to be happy.