I’ve posted on here previously but things have been going great in my relationship. I’m dating a man and it’s long distance. We’re about a 4 hour plane ride away from one another. However, we knew what we were getting into from the get-go. He is an amazing person, and although we met at unexpected times in both of our lives, he’s who I want to be with and I know he feels the same.

He just visited me and met my family, and I saw him about a month and a half (almost two months) before that in his hometown. Things in his life he’s said (and I know it’s true) are very ‘crazy’ and up in the air right now (career, family stuff, etc.) and I have accepted this. The only thing is that this leads him to be a bit scrambled and last minute with things, and I often feel anxious over this considering I am the opposite and love to have set plans, and some sense of solidity.

We had said we wanted to try to see each other at least once a month but I am starting to wonder if it’s realistic for him. He is the one who takes care of costs etc. (he’s older, and I am not in a place to be, which he’s previously understood) so sometimes I feel as if I have no power in how often we see each other. I should perhaps lower my expectations since he is the one taking care of me, but I just wish he would try to make more consistent plans so I have some sense of security in knowing the next time I’ll see him.

I don’t know if I should just try and not expect such solid plans and perhaps loosen up a little or whether I should expect more effort.