No, I’ve never felt the need, or tried this hard to get away from someone. That said, I’ve never felt/been this trapped either. When I said earlier that I felt shackled to this person, I wasn’t exaggerating.

I think that if there were to be no legal repercussions, I would absolutely keep my child from him in a heartbeat. The fact is, if I do that I could lose my child. Any control I have over their wellbeing would be taken out of my hands and placed in the hands of someone who doesn’t know me, doesnt know him, doesn’t know my child, and doesn’t fully know the situation – the court system. I don’t know for sure if he would take me to court over it, but I do know that I simply cannot take that risk. I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t and THAT is the hardest thing to accept. I’m constantly looking for loopholes or at least some sort of way out, and I HATE that I have to do this all because of his actions. I take responsibility for my part in bringing my child into the world with a worthless man, but I cannot control his side of the situation.

Thank you.

I agree with you 100%. However, so far no one (professional or otherwise) has given me any indication that this is even possible. My lawyer is essentially guiding me in the direction of getting him help so that he can be a “good enough” father to my child, because at the end of the day the courts ultimate goal is for the child to have a significant relationship with both parents, and if it goes to court, that will be the eventual outcome. I will still have to deal with him on some level.

The only thing will get rid of him is for him to make that decision himself, and sign away his parental rights. And I’m 99.999% sure that’s not going to happen. If nothing else, his parents won’t let him do that.

If I spoke to him and said “hey, I want zero contact with you”, he would be 100% on board IF (and that is a HUGE “IF”) it didn’t interfere in the slightest with his one on one time with his child. In fact, his reasoning for not attending appointments and birthdays and concerts, etc. is because… And I quote; “I never want to ever be where you are”. I’ve spent the last 6 years on his back about his drinking and lack of parental responsibility, so I (sort of) don’t blame him for feeling that way. Every time we talk we fight, and every time it’s about his shortcomings.

The problem is, one of the main reasons I initiated legal proceedings is due to his sudden lack of interest in my child’s life outside his 48 hours of visitation. My case weighs very heavily on that fact. I don’t have any solid evidence of his drinking behaviour, so it’s really all I have to prove he has very little interest in the wellbeing of his child. I can’t very well go in there and say “I want him to be more involved with my child’s life, BUT, I don’t want him to attend any special events where I will be present… It just doesn’t make any sense, because I have been at all past, and WILL be at all future events. Then there’s drop offs and pick ups, phone conversations, etc. unless I have a restraining or intervention order on him, I have no choice.